There comes many points throughout our lives–no matter how young or old we are–when we need to say goodbye to some of the people we once considered our good friends. Whether it’s a slow and subtle drifting apart, or a full-blown, kicking-and-screaming falling out–outgrowing friends is one of life’s inevitabilities.
Unfortunately, during school this can seem like the end of the world, particularly when you’re already under so much stress from your studies.
The thing is though, at school you’re still trying to figure out who you are, and you’re constantly going through a lot of changes. So, it makes sense that the people you were friends with in Year 7 aren’t exactly the people you want to stick with for all of senior school. You might feel a need to hang on to your current friend group in fear of having to make new friends, but if someone or a group of people are making you unhappy, is it really worth losing your well-being?
If you let these people go, then you might actually be giving yourself a better shot at finding new friends who are much more like you.
So, what are some of the telltale signs that it might be time to move on from your friend(s)?
1. You don’t find them funny anymore
Sense of humour is really important in relationships, and when people have two completely different ideas of what is and isn’t funny, it can cause a bit of friction. That’s not to say people with different senses of humour can’t get along, but if you’re finding the jokes your friends are telling are really unfunny, offensive or even hurtful, you might want to reconsider what you’re getting out of the friendship.
2. You’re no longer into what they’re into
Again, there is definitely evidence that opposites attract, and you most definitely don’t need to share all of the same interests as your friends. But if you find that you no longer have anything in common with your friends, you’ll have to ask yourself if you’re still having fun in this relationship. Do you still have things to talk about? Are there still activities you can do together?
3. They bring you down more than up
This is a really important point, and if this applies to any of your friends, then it might be time to dump their ass. If someone is making you feel bad about yourself and constantly bringing you down, then they’re almost always not worth keeping around.
They probably enjoy feeling like the superior one in the relationship, but we all know that true friendships need to be equal. No one should feel like they are of less importance or have less power when it comes to their friends–the whole point of having them is to make us feel great about ourselves, loved and supported.
4. They don’t care enough (or you don’t)
When you feel like your friend no longer cares about you or isn’t interested in what you have to say, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. It can make you feel very small and powerless, which we know from the above point is just simply not on. So whether you’re the victim or the perpetrator, if someone has stopped caring then it is most definitely time to reevaluate your friendship, because chances are the other is getting hurt.
5. You don’t see them being with you for the rest of your life
A good friendship is kind of like a marriage. You love each other a lot, you work hard at keeping your relationship going, and ultimately you can picture being with each other for the rest of your life. Often friendships come and go throughout life, and it’s very rare you do end up spending your entire life with someone, but what counts is that you want it to be that way. You’re willing to put in all the years of effort to keep that person in your life. Now that’s real love.