One of the worst feelings in sitting at home, scrolling through Insta or Facebook and finding out that all your friends have made plans without you. You see a random snap with everyone in the background, or someone posts a squad selfie with no mention of you. While you’re at home watching Netflix, your friends are out having fun and you’re left with a sick feeling in your stomach because you didn’t get an invite. So, what do you do?

1. Don’t freak

When you find out your friends have made plans without you it’s easy to be hurt and send crazed messages asking why you weren’t invited. Avoid calling people out without knowing the whole story. Maybe your friends were doing their own thing and ran into each other, maybe they tried to invite you and you didn’t see the message or maybe they knew you wouldn’t have fun doing whatever they’re doing. The point is, instantly calling out your squad isn’t going to help the situation.

2. Suss out the situation

Don’t send fifty million messages in the group chat demanding answers about why you were left out of plans. Talk to one person, preferably your bestie, and suss out the situation rather than bombarding your whole squad. Don’t demand to know why you weren’t invited, or attack your best mate for not extending an invitation to you. This isn’t a Year 3 birthday party where everyone in the class is automatically invited- whatever the reason for not being invited, you need to suss it out before you accuse anyone of anything.

3. Move on

If a couple of people from your group have decided to go out together without you, sometimes you’re just going to have to deal with it. You can’t control what everyone does and sometimes people need space. Plus, if your friends are leaving you out of plans because you’ve said no the past five times maybe it’s time to re-evaluate how much energy you’re actually putting into the friendship. There’s no point being petty about it- just accept the fact that as you grow up, not every activity is a group activity.

4. Re-evaluate the friendship

On the other hand, if you constantly feel like you’re being left out, it’s making you feel shit and talking to your mates hasn’t helped- re-evaluate whether these people are quality friends anyway. It’s totally normal to spend time away from each other but if it feels like your group is genuinely trying to keep you on the sidelines, decide whether they’re worth your energy or if it’s time to break up.