My best friend in high school didn’t become my best friend till Year 8. We didn’t go to the same primary school and Year 7 was a weird transition year where I was still trying to figure out how to deal with being in high school.
But as soon as we did start being friends it was like we’d known each other our whole lives. We laughed at the same stupid shit, had the same opinions on all the teachers and clicked like we’d been besties since kindy.
I can’t remember exactly how we became friends but we stuck with each other through high school. Together we tackled exams, pimples and arguments. We fought, but we always made up and I honestly thought we’d be friends until we were old.
Until we weren’t.
No one tells you how much it hurts to break up with a best friend.
They don’t tell you how much you heart will ache when you lose the person you once told everything to. They don’t tell you that you will cry just as hard and for just as long over your friend from kindy as you did for the boy that broke your heart. That you will wake up some mornings and feel like you have lost a part of yourself.
And trust me, it does hurt. It hurts in a way that makes your head hurt and your hands shake. It hurts in a way that will have you crying, even when you’re feeling fine.
Losing the person you tell everything to. When you get in a fight with your parents you will want to pick up your phone and message them. When your crush finally texts you, you will want to screenshot the message and send it to them. Except… you can’t.
You will replay the memories in your mind. Memories of laughing in class, sitting in detention and walking home from school. Memories of snapchat streaks that were diligently tended to, inside jokes and birthday videos.
It will feel incredibly lonely, after all, you will be losing someone you thought would be by your side for the rest of your life. All the years that you had stuck by each other coming to an end.
The end of a romantic relationship gets all the attention- there’s thousands of songs about losing the person you love, movies that explore the trauma of heartbreak and poems filled with the hurt that comes with losing the person you were in love with.
But there’s a different kind of love that often gets forgotten about and pushed to the side.
Your soulmate doesn’t have to be a romantic partner, it can be the person you sat next to everyday in Maths, or who cried with you before your English exam. And when they leave, it fucking hurts.
Eventually though, you’ll realise you can live without them. The plans you made together won’t hurt to think about and you’ll be able to think of all your memories together without crying. It’s terrifying to think about the fact that they will no longer be in your life but you will find new people and make new plans. Friendship break ups hurt, but just like anything else you will heal.