As cheesy as it is, growing up I always thought my teenage years were going to be the best years of my life- a time of adventures and making memories. All the teenage movies said high school would be my peak. If you’d asked primary school me what I thought I would be doing in high school, she wouldn’t have said having multiple break downs a week from stress or freaking out over what the fuck she was meant to do when she left high school.

Teenage me was meant to be going on adventures- skipping class to hang out with my friends at the beach, going on road trips to who knows where and singing along to all my favourite songs the whole way. I thought I would be falling in love with people; going on dates that gave me butterflies in my stomach and finished with nervous kisses. I was meant to be going travelling with my friends; exploring foreign places, meeting brand new people and making the memories that I would look back on when I was old.

I feel nostalgic for the teenage adventures I never got to experience.

The summer romances that never happened because I was too busy messaging other people or the late nights that were filled with study notes and revision instead of breaking the rules and sneaking out. clemm.001

Look, I’m not saying that I haven’t made good memories throughout high school. There’s that time my best friend made me laugh so hard that I snorted my drink out my nose, and the first time I went driving by myself and suddenly realised that the world was so much bigger than I had ever imagined and there was nothing stopping me from exploring it. There’s the first time I got drunk on pink Cruisers at a friend’s 18th, and the day after that was spent in bed with my best friend, our pounding headaches and embarrassing stories forcing us to declare we’d never drink again (at least not until next weekend). Even though I feel as though I am slowly being buried alive by exams and assignments, underneath it all there’s some gems of memories that I know I’ll hold onto.

Maybe it’s my own fault- I set my expectations too high and let myself be informed by cheesy movies and clichés that are too distant from the lives we have now. When I was younger I had this romanticised view of the world and how I would experience it- should I really be surprised that that’s not how things actually work?

Honestly, I don’t really know what I thought there would be- more sunrises and road trips, maybe. More laughter and less stress. Maccas runs and parties, first kisses and broken hearts- memories that were made without the thought of final exams or the assignment that I really shouldn’t have left to the last minute. More grainy disposable pics of my friends and less selfies. More romance and less hook ups.

And hey, maybe some of the best memories are yet to come. Maybe what I really got wrong was the timeline, and that high school is just a stepping stone to bigger and better things. Maybe my adventures are still yet to come, and that the so called ‘best years’ are just around the corner. Fingers crossed.