So you’ve met someone and you’re talking. You exchange numbers, socials and even organise to hang out. You stay up to ridiculous hours sending each other messages and start developing a ~connection~ or so you think.
One day, they seem to disappear off the face of the digital earth. The messages had been dropping off lately but you'd managed to convince yourself that they're just busy–until the messages stop completely.
Your texts get left on read, snaps go ignored and you have to finally admit that they haven't lost their phone or a lying dead in a ditch–they've decided to end things with you without bothering to give you the heads up.
You've been ghosted.
Well, what the fuck are you meant to do now?
There's a tonne of questions you'll be asking yourself: why would they leave you hanging like that? Were they just pretending to be into you? Was it something you said? Did you have a bit of food in your teeth the entire time you were hanging out?
Whatever the reason, it's particularly painful because you get zero closure and have a heap of emotions to sort through.
Well, I'm here to tell you that this shitty experience is probably going to happen more than once but it is a massive learning curve and you shouldn't let it get to you.
1. You were fine before it happened, and you’ll be fine again
It can be hard to remember when you’re wrapped up in a new crush and all the giddiness that comes with it but there was a time when you didn’t know this person and didn’t care what they thought of you (a.k.a the ideal time).
As my mum always reminds me; you didn't need that person before and you definitely don't need them now.
You were able to dodge someone that had no idea how to communicate properly, plus you’re able to sit on your high horse knowing you weren’t the one that crushed someone’s feelings by disappearing off the face of the earth. A win-win, really.
2. It’s them, not you
I won’t beat around the bush–it’s easy to feel inadequate when you’re rejected in a savage, vague and round-a-bout way. Unfortunately, for whatever reason the other person wasn’t feeling it with you and that’s perfectly okay.
I’m sure it would’ve been nice if they said that to your face but look on the bright side–if they think it’s okay to treat you that way now, you should be countin’ your lucky stars that they are no longer in your life.
3. Thank u, next
Personally, I always found it easy to get caught up in my feelings for someone. I’d fall head over heels and expect everything to work out like those Netflix rom coms. If it wasn’t perfect, I would get upset real fast and when I got ghosted I was devastated.
Looking back, I realise that it was an unhealthy way to look at relationships and crushes. You can’t approach everything in life like it’s going to be perfect and then fall into a pit of agony when it’s not.
You need to channel your inner Ariana Grande and just say ‘thank u, next’. While it’s tough and can hurt a lot more than you care to admit in the moment, it’s a lesson you’ll never forget.
All you’ve got to remember is that no matter how good the vibe was between you two, if someone could ghost you, then they definitely weren’t destined to be the love of your life and you’re not missing out on anything. If you keep your head held high, stay focused on your own health, happiness, future and leave the ghoster to deal with their own immaturity and lack of courage, it’ll hurt a lot less knowing that they’re the one missing out.