Love & Friendship

The 3 Types Of Ghosting You’ll Experience

words by Ben | photo by @35exposures

Time to rip off the bandaid and face the harsh reality of today’s dating world–ghosting is an inevitable part of life.

However, once you know the ins and outs of ghosters and their tactics, you’ll be able to spot one from a mile away and avoid the situation before you ever get hurt.

 

1. The ruthless ghoster

This one doesn’t hold back. Once they’ve decided you’re not a vibe, they’ll cut you off mercilessly–you’ll be blocked on all socials and never receive a single reply to your texts.

The ruthless ghoster can appear at any time; after a single message, after the first date, after a couple of times hanging out or, in worst case scenrios, mid-bloody-relationship.

The worst part about these ones is that they give you absolutely no explanation, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong. They could be dead for all we know.

2. The lurker

This ghoster is a bit harder to crack because they leave hints around like they could still be keen. They might delete you on Facebook but they still watch all of your Instagram stories or they might not reply for a week then slide into your DMs asking where you’ve been.

Be careful of the lurker; they keep the bare minimum connection between you two in the hopes they can come clawing back whenever they please. Don’t fall for it! Or do, if that’s what you’re after–just don’t expect much more than a ‘you up?’ text occasionally.

3. The slow burn

Arguably the worst of the three, the slow burn hits the hardest and hurts the most.

You’ll be regularly hanging out with someone, messaging almost everyday and enjoying the feeling of having a lil crush. Gradually, you’ll realise the replies are coming less and less, you’re the only one initiating the conversation and any plans to hang out are constantly brushed off.

It’s confusing as fuck, mainly because you’ll still occasionally have a solid conversation that reminds you of why you liked them in the first place.

The confusion eventually becomes all consuming and the lack of finality once the whole thing fizzles out leaves a lot of questions with no real way to get answers.

Ghosting sucks! But you’re also probably guilty of it, consciously or unconsciously.

While being ghosted can be soul-crushingly shit, in the long run, it’s probably for the best. You were able to dodge someone that had no idea how to communicate properly, plus you’re able to sit on your high horse knowing you weren’t the one that crushed someone’s feelings by disappearing off the face of the earth.

All you’ve got to remember is that no matter how good the vibe was between you two, if someone could ghost you, then they definitely weren’t destined to be the love of your life and you’re not missing out on anything.

And, if you’re the ghoster, have a think about being straight up instead. We’re not saying you need to message every person you’re not keen on with a big break up spiel but usually, people would rather just be told that it’s not gonna work than desperately swim in a sea of confusion while checking to see if you’ve watched their Instagram stories.