27 Feb 2017

You’ve probably already been fed the entire doughnut of “starting over” when you enter uni, with the glazing and sprinkles that is being at the “bottom of the hierarchy” again, and possibly even how nerve-wracking it is. One of the greatest experiences of starting out way back when as a kid was all the new friendship circles you opened. Here are 25 ways to make friends in uni for those who have any anxieties about it, and for those who just simply forgot how.

  1. Hang around the uni bar.
  2. Get to know someone over a drink.
  3. Buy people drinks.
  4. Go bankrupt from buying friends with drinks, and confess your financial situation to said friends (this level of honesty will connect you to a whole new level).
  5. Ask people what their star signs are.
  6. Laugh at those people who believe in star signs with other mean spirited people like you.
  7. Start your own uni society based on the mutual understanding that Betty White should be cherished.
  8. Condition people to like you by offering candy to them every time they see you.
  9. Compliment people on their shoes even if they are #whatarethose?? tier.
  10. Start your own uni society based on people who are the same height.
  11. Have a dog.
  12. Show people pictures of your dog.
  13. Tell people about your dog.
  14. Dog.
  15. Go to concerts and make it up on stage Courtney Cox/Springsteen style.
  16. Slip Gilmore Girls references into everyday conversation and see who picks up on it.
  17. Start your own uni society based on people who sit together, don’t speak, and just look at memes on their phones.
  18. Learn to bake and hand out cookies (worst case scenario you’ll know how to bake and have cookies)
  19. Bring your mother to campus and have her advocate for how cool/good looking/awesome you are.
  20. Tinder spree it up, and lead them on until it’s been much too late to sever the relationship(s).
  21. Start your own uni society based on mutual sadness regarding only being one original Wiggle left in the current line-up.
  22. Go out, attend events, participate in activities – there is no reason not to.
  23. Approach people like a human and have a conversation to them (start with ‘hello’).
  24. Stay calm, and remember you’ve done this before.
  25. Be yourself, keep it fun, and light-hearted… like this shitty listicle.

Remember, I like you. You should like you, and so will other people.

By Garry Lu