Learning How To Enjoy Your Own Company

Growing up, one of the hardest things we have to learn is how to be alone and be okay in our own company. The older we get, the stronger we feel our loneliness. Whether we’re talking relationships or friendships, coming to terms with being on our own is hard. Once we learn how to be our own best friend we come to understand how much of a weight lifts off of our shoulders. Alone time is essential in order for us to put more energy into time with others when we are with them. Allowing ourselves to reset is ultimately what we need to function.

Here are a few hot tips for enjoying your own company:

Practice mindfulness

With all the craziness of life, at times we can get so sidetracked that we don’t even realise that our cup is overflowing. It’s so important to be able to reflect, evaluate and let go of things. Often we are so focused on the future or stuck on things that have happened in the past. Mindfulness is all about focusing on the present and becoming aware of your current thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness can be one of the most beneficial techniques for coping with stress and reducing anxiety. Being alone and letting ourselves sit with all of our thoughts and feels really can be what we need to recharge our social batteries and experience a greater enthusiasm and energy towards life.

Mindfulness doesn’t need to be a big time consuming thing. A lot of the time it can be as simple as sitting in silence, taking some deep breaths and registering all your thoughts and feelings. When experiencing stress or anxiety, it’s normal to feel really uncomfortable when you let yourself sit with all these feels, but please remember that they will pass. You are not your thoughts, but purely just the person observing them - let them pass through you. 

Learn to appreciate yourself 

You are the one who knows yourself better than anyone else does. There is power in this. Too often we let other people who barely know us determine our self worth and how we perceive ourselves. We choose to focus on behaviours and opinions of others, when really, we know ourselves better than they ever will. Long story short, we truly are our own best friends. The more time spent in our own company we will realise how beautiful this really is.

Take time to remember who you are and all the things that you have to offer this world. Appreciate your strengths and focus on all the positive aspects about yourself. Avoiding self criticism and embracing everything about yourself – even your mistakes – can really take you a long way. 

Too often we focus on our flaws and the things which we aren’t good at. We compare ourselves to everyone around us, but at the end of the day, everyone has their own unique strengths and we are all good at different things. So this being said, something to keep in mind is: another person's gifts, talents, abilities, or looks do not take away from your own!

Try new things

I have a whole list of skills that I want to learn. When we make time for ourselves we are making time for so many exciting new opportunities. Use this time to start embracing new experiences and challenge yourself to actually do the things you want to do, even if you are hesitant. It can definitely be scary pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, but the happiness you feel once you do is so worth it.

So go learn to play guitar, travel to a new place, take a cooking class, learn a new language, take a dance class, hang out with new people, do some painting, try photography, go to an art exhibition… the list goes on. 

There is so much that life has to offer you, all that you have to do is make a start.

Learn to be okay with setting boundaries 

A big part of learning to enjoy our own company is actually getting alone time. It’s so important to make time for ourselves and being ok with just saying no to things. You don’t always need an excuse to not go out with friends or stick to plans - saying that you just need some time to yourself is completely valid. If you’re anything like me, a lot of us can constantly bend over backward in order to make time for everyone and constantly please the people around us. But at some point, you will need to realise this only leaves you tired and drained. There comes a time when you need to start setting some boundaries. Of course there is always going to be someone disappointed, but if they are mature enough they will realise that you need to look after yourself and start making decisions that benefit you.

Do more things that bring you happiness

2023 is all about investing in yourself and creating your own happiness. Whether it’s reading, hiking, painting, journaling, cooking, sewing or any hobby really - actually start putting the time aside to do these things. We often let these things get away from us and forget how content and fulfilled are when we put time into the things that we truly enjoy. Life is too short to not spend it doing the things that we love and ultimately make us who we are. 

Learning how to enjoy your own company is one of the greatest gifts of life. We can get so caught up in friendships, relationships (or even failed talking stages). Learning to let go of this and just focusing on yourself is truly such a relief.

In this life you need to plant your own garden, grow your own flowers, and pour into your own cup.

Ultimately you are the person in control of your happiness and your feelings. You get to decide what you allow to get under your skin. Only you can decide when something isn’t serving you anymore - then let it go and start spending more time with the person who gets you the best, which is yourself.

Remember that enjoying your own company takes practice and patience. Be gentle on yourself and allow time to adjust to being alone. If you’re anything like me - once you get used to it, you might even start to like it a lil too much, and that’s okay too!