22 Jun 2014

Ever met one of those people who just seem to have it all? Ever wondered how some people can handle so much stress and still pull through with a sense of motivation and calmness? Well, it all comes down to their internal feelings towards themselves. A true belief in their abilities and a drive for passion because they know they are a good person.

Seems obvious or silly doesn’t it, however this is the most valuable lesson life has to offer us. Being able to love, forgive and have compassion towards who we are is vital for our success in life. Whether it be motivation for an inspiring career, loving relationships, financial abundance, ideal physical health, a nurturing sex life or our balanced mental and emotional states and as I’ve personally learned, it all comes back to our internal dialogue and relationship with self.

Life can be hard enough, throwing us curve balls from all angles! So why beat yourself up along the way? Staying up late, over-indulging in drugs or alcohol, becoming a workaholic, talking down to yourself like you are a fool and the list goes on. When times are tough, this is when we can thrive and show our true strength. Supporting ourselves to believe in who we are and what we have to offer will allow us to reach for the stars. Everyone is deserving of whatever it is in life they may wish to seek and it all starts from motivation within.

Understanding that how we feel about who we are is going to reflect in all areas of our lives. Ever noticed that if you’re having a bad day and all you think about is how negative things are, then you end up having a string of unlucky situations? I’m sure you’ve noticed the same thing when on the flip side, you’re in a great mood and things just keep getting better! Like attracts like and we need to focus on the source, ourselves.

Between the ages of 0-7 we are like a sponge, picking up on everything from the big people around us–good or bad. Our subconscious minds are being programmed like a computer to set us up for later in life. If you watched a father be a workaholic growing up, you may unconsciously have a belief that work is bad and makes people unhappy. Or perhaps you were around a mother who seemed to only give you positive feedback and love when you were good, this may have left you thinking you must always be ‘good’ and pretend like you never get sad or misbehave. You may even go the other way and be a total rebel to gain attention. This is not a bad thing to realise. It’s also not a time to get down on yourself, we can’t help who we were conditioned and programmed to become and there is no point in blaming these adults, parents, guardians or carers either. They too were doing the best they could with the knowledge they had.

The great news is, it doesn’t have to be that way and life is meant to be easy and inspirational. Again, it all starts from within. Pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read, go to the gym or for a walk with a friend and make it less about punishment and for others and more for fun and to put you in a great mood. Type ‘motivational video’ into Youtube, research someone you look up to, you’ll be amazed at some of the challenges they faced over their lives and still became the successful people they are today. Aim to get eight hours of sleep at night, if you usually have 6-10 drinks to unwind change it to 2-4, if you normally smoke half a pack or more a day of cigarettes then cut back to five. Making small changes in our everyday lives supports us to be more resilient and stronger when stress, anger or hurt come up.

Making active changes to our relationship with ourselves encourages things to go more smoothly and gives you the confidence to apply for that dream job, start saving your money or to ask out that person you’ve had a crush on for a while. Go for it, all that matters is now.

by Lucinda Cooper