I Thought This Crush Was Destiny...

I met him at a hostel in Mexico. Our groups merged for the week, surfing together, sharing motorbikes, chatting over burritos, and buying each other rounds at the bar. 

We all watched the sunrise on the beach after our last night together. As he and I laughed over ridiculous would you rather q's, failed to articulate philosophical notions due to being brain fried, and gushed over our fave 70s bands, my heart sunk six feet under... I'd completely blown this!?!?

He was there the entire time, and I'd only realised now, right before we part ways, that he was perfect. Witty, creative, ambitious, adventurous, intelligent... And I was never going to see him again.

For weeks, I shamelessly fantasised about him whilst staring out train windows. I scrolled through photos of us in Mexico. I read books and listened to songs he'd mentioned. But as all crushes do, it eventually faded. 

Fast forward six months. I'd been crashing with my 'rents whilst figuring out what's next. Where to live? I asked a mate for advice and she said coincidentally, her mates and herself had found the perfect house and they had one more room to fill. It was in Melbourne. I'd never even been to Melbourne but... yolo? So I packed my bags and popped on a flight.

On a rainy arvo during my first week in the new city, I was ✨frazzled✨. I was a drowned, cold rat that had hopped on a tram that was heading in the wrong direction to home. My grocery bag snapped and my AirPods carked it. Then a pub asked if I wanted to have a trial shift in half an hour. When I finally got off at my stop, I looked right.

There he was. Him. 

I was paralysed as we locked eyes for a second. I'd forgotten he was from Melbourne! Before I could even register what was happening, the crossing lights went green and my legs said "not today sis". I beelined away. Thank god as I made it to that trial shift with a minute to spare... but he was on my mind for all of it. 

I would have messaged him but he didn't have social media, so I just prayed we'd run into each other. Two weeks later I was bar hopping with my roommate and there he was. We talked and talked as if we were the only people in the room. Oh and, we found out we live a two-minute walk from each other. 

My roommate was in shock afterwards. "He's so in love with you" she kept saying. "He was so touchy and his eye contact with you made me red in the face". She kept telling me of all the cities, of all the suburbs, of all the houses I could have moved to, I'd ended up smack bang next to him. "It's destiny" she repeated over and over. I started believing it too.

He was on my mind all the time. I fantasised about bumping into him on the tram, at the supermarket, or at my pub. A few weeks later, he miraculously ended up at my housewarming party through mutuals. Another coincidence. Another sign pointing towards ✨destiny✨. 

And then a girl arrived. And they kissed. 🥵😮‍💨😳😵‍💫🥴😬😭🥺🤯🤔 Yeah. Turns out he had a girlfriend. Hahahahhaahhahhahhaa...

Now, I could have been butthurt. Heartbroken. Angry. But instead, I laughed. I laughed like a lunatic. Snorting, cackling 'n all. See, life really is absurd. Here I was thinking we were destined. He was just being friendly! He just happened to live nearby! How humbling the universe can be.

Sometimes you just have to see the ridiculousness, the chaos, the absurdity in the situation. Yeah sure, sometimes it really is destiny. But sometimes it's just a funny story.