28 Mar 2016

When you strut into class proud and arrogant, do you think I fear you? Do you think I think you’re cool? Because sometimes I want to laugh, I want to sit back in my chair with eyebrows raised and shake my head. You’re not fooling me, buddy, but keeping flicking your hair and tapping on your phone anyway – you’ve managed to fool yourself.

Instead of laughing I stay silent – I let you walk in with your classmates and I prepare myself for the damage you will do in my classroom.

You sit up the back and swing on your chair. You throw balls of paper at the girl at the front who loves learning and wants to do well. You distract your friends who might actually be paying attention were it not for the ‘cool’ status that comes with being your friend.

Sometimes I don’t know what the best method is to control you. Do I calmly tell you to sit down and settle? Will you listen to me? Sometimes I snap and you call me a ‘f**king bitch’ and I want to cry. But I don’t – teachers know how bullied they’ll be by their students if they cry. They’ll lose all respect.

It would be nice if you came up to me after class and told me why you’re misbehaving. Are you bored? Tell me. It’s my job to alter my teaching methods so I can communicate effectively to all students.

I don’t blame you though. I don’t know what’s going on at home. Maybe you’ve had a rough morning too, and the idea of coming into a room and learning about a dead guy who wrote in words that don’t make much sense seems entirely pointless in the scheme of things. Maybe you don’t understand the content and your way of coping is giving up. Maybe you feel like school doesn’t challenge you and the work bores you and so instead of engaging anyway you tune out.

We’ve all been there. I gave up trying at school – my teachers were worried and often pulled me aside, shifting between ‘are you okay’ to ‘I’m not disappointed at you, I’m disappointed with you’ (don’t worry, I’ve never said that). You feel bad for disappointing your teacher but at the same with you’re thinking ‘who even are you?!’

But now I’m on the ‘other side’, I understand where my teacher’s hearts were and how much they cared for me at the time when I barely cared for them at all. I understand that they longed to see me succeed, in the form in which I wanted to while at the same time managing to challenge and entertain me.

When you misbehave, remember me. Maybe I’ve had a rough morning too – maybe I’m really excited about what I’m going to teach you today, I am definitely excited about teaching and encouraging the new generation of leaders. Treat me with kindness because I’m here to help (and I also have the power to rid you of your lunchtimes, bring pizza to class and let you Snap your mate who has fallen asleep in the back row – but then you have to put your phone away…)

Have a good week, kids.

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