18 Jul 2019

When I was in high school, my best friend and I were inseparable. We would do everything together; drive to school with the radio blasting, swap food over lunchtime, descend into fits of laughter during study periods and get ready for parties in one another's bedrooms. There was nothing incredibly special or exciting about our friendship when you looked at it from afar, but to us it felt like magic.

Graduation happened, schoolies came and went, and then - in what felt like a flash - uni began. Whilst being identical in some parts of our lives, we had different ambitions, different opinions, and different ways in which we wanted to lead our lives. I went to uni locally and she went to one in the city. We both still lived at home and still pretty close to each other, but our lives and our friendship slowly changed, bit by bit.

 

I would try and organise hang-outs, but her degree was time-consuming. Every time she asked to hang-out, I was busy with work or study. She started to make friends at university, then suddenly her weekends were occupied with these new people I knew nothing about. I experienced what felt almost like culture-shock because it seemed my life and my relationships were so different than they used to be. Because our paths truly had diverged.

There was a long period where I was upset that things would never be the same, that the friendship that we had once forged was a thing of the past. Our high school relationship had helped make me into the person I am today. To not have such a big part of my life by my side anymore felt apocalyptic. I really and truly did not think that I would experience the normalcy of high school and our relationship ever again.

Part of this was right, but it was also okay.

It took a long time, but adjustment was possible in the end. I was able to view uni as more than a place to just go to class and started stepping out of my comfort zone. I met people that I could lean on and forge new connections with. Sure, it was different than how it was in high school, but it made me feel better.

My friend and I from school have slowly reconnected, but things will never be quite the way they once were. One of the most freeing things I’ve learned is that change is not something to lose sleep over. Our friendship in high school is something that was sacred and every time I look back on it, my memories glow. But it's still okay that we drifted apart. It’s okay that we found other people.

Life is long and if there’s no bad blood, there are only good memories.