02 Oct 2020

The first time I failed my Ps test was a real bust. I told all my mates and envisioned myself rocking up to school, car pimped out with my fresh P plates. I'd planned the Maccas runs in my free periods, giving my little brother lifts and the Instagram post with me holding the red P plate like a trophy. 

But then I carked it. I was a nervous wreck. In the words of Eminem: "palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy."

He actually wrote that about me during my driving test. Fun fact.

In all seriousness, I thought I'd nailed everything but it turned out that I'd failed for not moving left enough on the road when turning left into a street twice. Like righto, please just gimmie my Ps ffs.

 

The second time I booked my Ps test, I was a little smarter about not advertising it to the world. I just told my closest mates, who had all already gotten their Ps. By this point, I was the sad sack of potatoes being tagged in L plater memes on Facebook.

"Tag your friend who still hasn't got their Ps," or even worse "Tag your L plate mate who loves to snag lifts off you." 

Yes, yes, yes, I get it! I was determined to get them this time around.

But then I carked it. Again. I hit the kerb whilst reverse parking which I 100% manifested because I had heard the day before that someone had failed for that and I got all worked up about it. 

Third time's the charm, right?

For my third attempt, I didn't tell anyone but my family. Nerves were really clouding my judgement this time around. I was self-conscious as failure had kicked me in the gut twice now.

Come the test, my palms were so sweaty that I struggled to hold the steering wheel properly. 

And then... I think we can all guess what happened next...

I didn't indicate when exiting a roundabout. Failure. Again.

So, am I the worst driver ever? An idiot? Incompetent to the ninth degree? Should I be allowed on the road?

See, my instructor genuinely said that I'm a great driver (obviously not, mate), but he really did! He said I'm on top of road rules, hazards, speed, indicating, and head checks.

Look, I'm gutted and embarrassed.

But you know what, driving gods, you can all get rooted because I'm not going to give up. I swear, if I don't get a photo of me holding my fresh, red P plates, I will make you RUE the day. I will be analysing my test score sheets, booking in more driving lessons, researching driving online (there's actually some unreal youtube videos), and building my confidence back up that you so nicely shoved down.

I admit that I'm not an experienced driver, just like everyone else on their Ls. I mean, we all only have a few hundred hours under our belts which really isn't a lot. It's fair enough to make silly mistakes, especially during such a nervewracking test and I think we have all noticed that I don't thrive under pressure. And chances are if you're like me, you don't either.

So folks, if you've failed your driving test once, twice, three times or four times (I'll get back to you if that becomes me), flip the driving gods off and give it another red hot go because we all deserve to be in charge of a Maccas run.