31 Oct 2020 | 2 mins

What does it feel like to float from lunch table to lunch table? To not be affiliated with any friend group? To walk into a classroom and randomly sit down with whichever classmate you feel like talking to that day?

Being a floater in high school was bittersweet.

On the plus side, you know a little bit about everybody. I knew that Gabby smeared ice cream all over Lewis' car because he hit hers (and denied it). I knew that Luke was secretly into his maths teacher. I knew that Max wanted to flee to Mexico.

I knew tidbits from all types of people, from the musos, geniuses, slackers, geeks and party animals.

I sometimes went to parties with the popular crowd. I sometimes acted in school plays with the drama kids. I sometimes skipped class with slackers.

I was acquaintances, even mates with everyone, but best friends with no one. 

I didn't really know much about Gabby, Luke or Max. We didn't have inside jokes. We didn't really hang out after class. We didn't text over the weekend. We'd just chinwag during class or lunchtime, and then, as soon as the school bell rang, they'd go off with their friends, and I'd go home alone.

Honestly, it didn't bother me much. I was content. I had friends outside of school, had hobbies, dreams, goals, a job on the side. But sometimes, it did get pretty lonely. I'd get FOMO watching high school movies and TV shows with a group of friends that would do anything for each other. How could I find that?

Instead, I'd have to actively think each day who I'd sit with. Sometimes, that would get so frazzling that I'd just read a book behind the school gym. 

The funny thing is, at university, everyone is kind of floating around too. Some of us are just better at it than others. 

In fact, I ended up meeting a tonne of new people, of course, whilst also making my first group of close friends. Real friends. Friends I do have inside jokes with, that I do hang out with, that I do text.

Sometimes you just won't find your tribe in high school. I didn't, and that's honestly fine. I was content in myself to know that there are perfect mates for me out there somewhere.