19 Apr 2022 | 2 mins
Overview
  • If your reason to have sex is "because everyone else is doing it", you might not be ready. And that's totally ok - here's why! 💫

If your reason to lose your V-card is "because everyone else is doing it", you might not ready. Maybe your gut is telling you not to rush it.

Maybe you feel like you don't know enough about contraception and STIs. Maybe the idea of it just freaks you out!

I wish someone had told me what I'm about to tell you: It's okay not to be ready. So okay. More than okay. 

I was surrounded by mates who were rooting like rabbits in high school. It didn't bother me in the beginning, but eventually, I felt more and more isolated and alienated. Not just to my friends, but the whole school. I felt like an undesirable, inexperienced, virgin mutant wearing this shirt 24/7:

 

My friends would jokingly tell me to cover my ears when the conversation steered towards talking about the dirty. I'd win every game of never have I ever. I got tired of feeling behind in everything. While it's not a FOMO feeling, there's some big pressure to get it over and done with. 😮‍💨

I felt pressured to lose my virgininty in some guys' shaggin' wagon parked at a lookout or at a secluded beach...so I did exactly that (we went for the lookout option). And it wasn't pleasant; I was nervous, he wasn't supportive, I was uncomfortable.

I did the deed with two more guys during my high school experience just because. Because they were there. Because friends set us up. Because I thought I had to.

Just thinking about these encounters, I'm uncomfortable and embarrassed. Embarrassed that I prioritised everyone elses "expectations" over what I actually wanted.

When I graduated high school, I didn't make a move again until I was 19-years-old. That is when I was truly ready. Ready to explore what I liked and didn't like, ready to be intimate with someone else, ready to have fun with it. Because it should be fun! And it'll only be fun when you're emotionally and physically ready.

If I could talk to past me, I'd tell her:

'So what!? So what your mates are active and you aren't. So what you don't feel ready to have sex. So what, so what, so what. Embrace being who you are.'

Remember to stay true to yourself. You won't regret it 🌞