18 Jan 2018

No matter what it is you do during your gap year, it’s one of the most transformative things that can happen to you. For a lot of us, it’s the first time we get to choose to do something substantial in our lives that most other people aren’t. We’re no longer shielded by parents and school, and it’s a time to really flex our newfound adulthood. As a result, we come back from our gap year having experienced some things that our peers have had no contact with, and we’re expected to settle back in to ‘normal’ life with them.

I struggled with this transition early on. It was difficult to view my year abroad as something that was over, and I desperately wanted to go back. It was only through carrying on with the slog that I came to terms with it.

I was lingering in the past

The hardest part was the boredom; going to uni everyday just didn’t have the same sheen as beach parties in Thailand. But not only was not letting go making me an insufferable prick (‘This pho is alright, but it’s got nothing on the real thing in Hanoi – have I told you about the time I was there?’), it also meant that I wasn’t properly enjoying the present. All the things I did during my gap year were hectic, but they were over, and there was a bunch of cool things I could be doing now if I were just open to them.

What I’m doing now is valuable too

Returning from my gap year meant that I had to start thinking about pesky things like my future and education, and it sure wasn’t fun at first. I was eager to avoid adult responsibilities, but the more I antagonised them the less I was happy. Eventually I started to embrace this new chapter in my life, and to recognise it for what it was – I was going to improve myself through things like learning and holding down a job instead of my previous pursuit of doing as little as possible in different countries all over the world. Neither was necessarily better than the other, they were great in different ways. Plus, actually having an income was pretty great for once.

It was the best thing I’d done in my life–so far

Real catharsis though came from when I realised I could be excited about future travel plans, and that these trips could be even better than the last. When I went and actually booked flights was when I was the happiest, fully able to put my efforts into planning and anticipating further adventures. It was when I was finally able to move on, acknowledge the cool things I had done, but be excited for what was in store ahead; my gap year was sick, but life afterwards didn’t just have to be boring and depressing.