01 Aug 2020

Queue the song 'Alone Again (Naturally)' because guess what, loneliness is natural.

We've all felt the sting of loneliness at one point or another. Whether you're an introvert or extrovert, loneliness can nag us for a number of reasons and at any given time too.

Have you moved cities and don't know anyone? Are you outgrowing your friends? Are you going through a rough day? Do you miss someone? Do you feel like you just don't fit in?

Neuroscientist John Cacioppo once said that: “the absence of social connection triggers the same, primal alarm bells as hunger, thirst and physical pain.” It's no wonder why loneliness can be all-encompassing.

Now, I'm not saying that loneliness doesn't suck. I am saying that it's natural to feel this way. With the ongoing ebbs and flows in this frazzling rollercoaster that we call life, it's completely okay and normal to feel lonely at one point or another.

It's not shameful or embarrassing. It doesn't make you weird. Loneliness isn't a taboo.

 

I once had someone older tell me: "your generation has no right to feel lonely. You have the world at your fingertips online." But most real connections can't come from a screen.

In fact, sometimes, social media can make us feel even more disconnected and can be detrimental as we scroll through perfect faces, living perfect lives with their perfect bodies and perfect friends. Well, let's be honest. Despite the facade we witness on social media, it's a safe bet that those faces have felt loneliness too.

When you're feeling lonely, don't try to bury it. Accept it. Be self-aware enough to admit that you're feeling this way. Then you can take the next step to opening up to someone and trying to dig deeper to the root problem. Really ask yourself: "why am I feeling this way?"

Once I felt uneasy because I was working so much and hadn't properly connected with someone for weeks! After taking a step back, I realised that I was lonely, tired and overworked. I accepted it and set out to help myself feel better. 

We all feel loneliness. Especially during 2020 in which isolation literally separated us from the rest of the world. But it's natural and normal. It's what makes you human.