11 Jul 2020

Are you the friend who is always without a partner in class because your mates have all linked up? Do you have to scramble to find another seat on the bus because your crew is sitting with each another? What about being ignored in the group chats? 

We've all been there. You’re the Michelle of the group while your mates are Kelly and Beyonce (yep, that’s a Destiny’s Child reference). In simple terms, you’re the odd friend out and that can be a pretty crappy feeling. 

 

1. You're always looking for a partner in group work

The most daunting thing a teacher could say is “split into pairs.”

Every time I heard a teacher say this in school, my heart would sink. I would turn to my mates to give them the cheeky look like “hey, you and me bud, we’re in this together,” but they’d be too busy looking at each other to notice. So, I’d look around the room and whoever I locked eyes with first would end up being my partner by default.

2. You're always the backup option

Being the odd friend out means constantly being the backup option. It doesn't matter how much time you spend with your friends as a group because when it comes to hanging out one on one, you're never the one that gets an invite or if you do, it's because everyone else has bailed first. You'll constantly see Instagram stories of your two best friends hanging out together and wonder what you did wrong to not be asked to tag along.

3. You'll never be the plus-one

Concerts, festivals, 18ths and house parties–while you would never consider going without your group of friends, they don't see any issue going without you. It's not that they deliberately exclude you, you're just never top of the list when it comes to invites.                                                 

The only thing worse than being a third wheel to mates who are in a relationship is being a third wheel to two best friends. And look, a lot of the time if you're in a group of three someone is going to feel left out. You'll annoy each other, fight and occasionally pick sides. Sometimes you're going to be having the time of your life and other times you're going to feel completely left out–it's all a balancing act and it's up to you to figure out whether you're stuck in a toxic cycle of getting left out (in which case, it's okay to ditch your mates and find new ones) or if it's something a lot less sinister.

If there's one thing I learnt from my high school friendships is that it's not worth putting up with people who make you feel like crap. It's normal to sometimes feel like the odd friend out. But it's not normal to feel like this all the time or to think that your friends don't care about you at all. You deserve more than half-arsed friendships and terrible excuses so, if you're the odd friend out it's time to find a new crew–there are people out there, trust me.