19 Jul 2021

We all know the feeling - you’ve broken the seal and are looking for the closest bathroom. You open the bathroom door and suddenly everyone is vibing with that the muffled bass and doof from the d floor in the background.

Whether your best mate is crying and trauma dumping on some randoms near the hand dryer or you’re simply having a quick boogie with strangers while you’re washing your hands - the club bathroom is a fun, safe space to meet some of the best people out there!

 

I went on a cruise with some of my close friends three years ago, met the nicest pair of besties in the rooftop bathroom, introduced them to my circle and we’ve been tight as, three years later. I’m telling you, there is something to do with toilet paper, soap, re-touching up of makeup and air freshener that gets people conversing and having a good time.

Bathrooms at a concert? Amazing atmos. A long line at a sporting event? Great banter. Touching up your makeup at a club? Compliments are flying. You cannot convince me otherwise that the bathroom never fails for a good time.

Now I’m only telling this from the standpoint of the female bathrooms - not sure what happens in the mens - it could be a Mexican stand-off in front of the urinals for all I know but hey, small chat is great in all scenarios, right?

If you haven’t already experienced this, trust me, you will, so here are some of the personalities you will meet in the pisser:

The one that won’t stop taking selfies

“Oh my god, how good is the lighting in here!? Liz, come here 🤪📸”

Ma’am, there are two cubicles in here and little to no space. It smells like piss, the floors are putrid and your glitter is falling off. How many angles and poses are you going to take? Go find the venues’ photographer sis x

The loyal bestie

Massive shoutout to these one-of-a-kind besties. They’re checking up on us, making sure we’re hydrated, holding up our hair while we’re vomiting, head deep in a toilet and talking us out of making any silly mistakes. You can always count on them to get you out of awkward situations and they love to hype you up. Mad respect for them 💛

The projectile-vomiter

We all have this one friend. One second, they’re knocking back shots after shots, having a jolly good time. Next, they have a blank face - you’re telling them to sit down and sober up but they’re roaring for a good time. Afterwards, they’re demanding for a cup of water and then end up running to the toilet and if they don’t make it that far, a sink will have to do. Kick ‘em out and put them to bed.

Tactical voms though, they are quite different - they’re strategic and calculated.

The gee’d up fighters

There are always two people fighting over something in the bathroom - whether they gave 'em a dirty look or they kissed the same guy. Get a bit of alcohol in you, some liquid courage and it’s all guns blazing. Seccy’s, we need ya, sort these two out - we’re not here to watch a live version of Maury.

The suss ones

These two will walk into the bathroom together, spend a few minutes in one cubicle and then walk out. Not too sure what they’re doing. Weak bladders? Need a time-out from the d floor? Hooking up? Taking illegal substances? I guess we’ll never know.

The dancing queens

These kings and queens are just here for a good time. No drama, just vibes. They’re not missing a beat with their moves and bangin' lyrics - they came here to show up show up and show out.

You're either one of these or know somebody who is but as long as everyone is having a red hot time, that's all that matters!