29 Jun 2021

When I think of hostels, I can hear the creak from someone climbing down a bunk bed, I can feel basically getting tetanus in some of the showers and can taste the subpar free breakfast; I used to get my money's worth.

I also picture all the people I met. But, in every hostel, there was always at least a handful of the same people... Whether you become best mates with them, fall in love with them, or wish you weren't put in a room with them. Here are the eleven different type of people you meet in hostels.

1. The rabbits

No no, we're not talking about the Easter bunny, Rabbitohs fans or cute bunnies hopping around innocently.

We're calling them this because quite frankly, they root like rabbits. They pull 24/7, which is good for them but traumatic for you if you're on a bunk underneath them in the hostel dorm. Big yikes.

2. The one with a guitar

What's in their arsenal? A guitar, picks and the lyrics to Wonderwall. Sure, sometimes it's nice to have some live music or to have everyone sing a song together… Buuut on the other hand, it can sometimes be annoying af. Maybe I’m just Oscar the Grouch though. 

3. The 30-year-old that's been travelling since they graduated

They've been doing random jobs and contracted work to fund their nomad lifestyle since they graduated from high school. They have the gnarliest stories and the best travel advice since they've already been everywhere twice. 

4. The one that never leaves their bed

You're not sure why they caught a flight here in the first place since they haven't really done any ‘travelling’.

I mean, the furthest they've travelled has been from their bed to the bathroom and occasionally the kitchen in which they'll block themselves from everyone else with earplugs whilst making pasta… They’re a bit of an enigma. 
 

5. The poshie

Is budget travelling really budget travelling if you're using mummy's credit card? They wanted the "hostel" experience but will only stay in a private room, will basically cry every time they shower with the fear of gangrene and refuse to stoop so low as free breakfast. They'll go out to a boujee cafe, thank you very much. 

6. The early leaver

Desperately need a sleep-in? Too bad. The early leaver has a flight at 5AM and you best believe they'll turn the light on, drop all of their belongings, call their friend to let them know they're on their way, have a shower, and loudly roll their suitcase outta there. 

7. The snorer

Desperately need sleep in general? Too bad 2.0. Nothing will shield the noise. Not a pillow, not earplugs, not even cranking ACDC through your earbuds. You’ll be up all night in silent fury, planning to pitch to every hostel that there should be a separate dorm room for snorers. Chuck the early leavers in there too.

8. The free breakfast scab

Free breakfast doesn't have to end at breakfast.

Not only will they bulk up on that toast, cereal and fruit, they'll also fill their pockets with the food as if stashing for the apocalypse and use those stolen bagels, bread, little jams and peanut butters for lunch and dinner.

9. The one that always misses breakfast

Then there's the one that always, always ends up missing free breakfast. They'll set alarms and sleep through them. Their mates will try to wake them up but they'll be stiff as a door. Maybe they will be awake but get completely sidetracked. Bless them.

10. The Aussie battler

If you miss home whilst in your hostel, all you have to do is close your eyes. Take deep breaths and focus. Listennnn.

There! Did you hear that? It's the dulcet, bogan tones of a fellow Aussie. There will always be one Aussie that sticks out like a sore thumb, most definitely sporting a Bintang singlet and thongs whilst knocking back the cheapest beer they could find. Their accent, anecdotes and Aussie slang will make you feel at home again. 
I.e. "Deadset. The Vatican was chockers and Simo 'n I were that hungover in the line. I was half fangin' for a feed, half wanting to chunder. After waiting for a century, we get to the front of the line and we weren't even allowed in because we were wearing singlets! Stitch up!"... Ah, the sound of home. 
 

11. The party animal

Their hostel bed is just a place they keep their luggage. Their motto? Sleep is for the dead.

Every night is a Saturday night in their eyes so if you're looking for a good time at a rave or an underground bar, they probably already know exactly where to go and how to get on the VIP list.

So... what hostel energy are you?