25 Aug 2021 | 6 mins

You're tagged in every L plater meme, ripped to shreds when someone younger than you gets their licence and always asked the same ol' Q: "sooo, when are you going for your P's?" 🥺😤

If you're like me, a sad sack of potatoes without their licence, here is how to not assume the role of 'freeloader' during a road trip. Here's how to be a ✨key player✨, even if you can't offer any driving skills.

 

1. Bring snacks 

And share them with everyone, ya mongrel.

The way to one's heart is through their stomach. Can you start a car? No. Can you bring a pack of Tim Tams? Heck yes! Everyone in the car will forget all about how much of a loser you are without your license whilst they plow through a pack of Doritos.

2. Have a playlist at the ready

We wanna make everyone happy in the car. I hate to be rude but no one wants to hear your niche and nuanced new wave music from Bulgaria circa 1967 whilst road tripping. We wanna be pumped up, excited and sing along to some bangers. I find that people respond best to throwback hits of the 2000s. They're tacky, they're beautiful and somehow you probably remember every word thanks to muscle memory. Ugh, fine, I'll share one of my bangin' throwback playlists:

Also, if vibes are low, play music trivia! Find a Spotify playlist of a genre or time period. Someone presses PLAY and the first person to know the song wins! Seriously, things go from 0 to 100 real quick. Actually, speaking of games...

3. Games

I Spy someone bored... so it's time to play some games! Here are some examples:

Movies 

Choose two actors, i.e: Daniel Radcliffe and Leonardo DiCaprio. You then have to connect them through movies and other actors. Whoever has fewer connections or connects them the quickest, wins!

(Daniel Radcliffe was in Harry Potter with Domhnall Gleeson. Domhnall Gleeson was in About Time with Margot Robbie. Margot Robbie was in The Wolf Of Wall Street with Leonardo DiCaprio) Things can get super confusing, especially when you choose two compleeeetely different actors. It's kind of like a speed run!

Lyrics

Read out song lyrics. You'd be surprised how hard it is to guess some songs without singing. 

Would You Rather 

Questions get really weird when you're scraping the barrel for things to do... that's the fun of it all!

F*ck Marry Kill

An absolutely and utter classic. It never gets old.

4. Personality Tests

I know that this might sound weird and boring but hear me out. Everyone loves personality tests - everyone loves learning more about the inner workings of their mind. Trust me, time flies whilst you're having a deep and meaningful about all your answers or just laughing at each other's stupid choices.

Bring a notebook and read out the q's, writing down everyone's answers (and your own.) Then at the end, go through what the answers mean. 

Some of my fave road trip tests in the past were:

The Field, Cube, Ladder, Horse, and Flower Question

A Walk In The Woods Test – Relational Psychology Test

The Castle: an Impressive Test That Will Say Much about Your Personality

The Oasis Test – Relational Psychology Quiz

Love Path: Relational Personality Test

5. Keep the driver vibin'

General etiquette of not having your license means that you're not allowed to just scroll on your phone the entire time. The driver can't, so you can't. Savvy?

Also, you wanna keep the driver vibin'. My two friends and I once had to trek home for eight hours in the car. Kendal, the driver, was exhaaauuusted and suffering from period cramps. Kiera copped a random bout of tonsillitis so she was dead as a doornail the whole trip, passed out. I was perfectly fine but since I couldn't drive, it was my job to keep Kendal vibin'.

I got her to tell me the plot of every horror movie she's ever seen (I hate horror but she FROTHS it). We did some personality quizzes and played f*ck marry kill. I bought snacks from the petrol station for both of us... With great power comes great responsibility.... but with little power also comes great responsibility. Without a license, we are losers. But it's our responsibility to not be freeloaders too!