18 Jul 2020

I’ve had this career path in my head for years. I'd mapped it out, set goals and visualised myself making it in my desired field. I told my family, my friends, random customers at my hopso job, the postman, even my neighbours’ dog. The whole globe basically knew what I was pursuing and it felt red hot to have everything figured out and locked in.

But life isn’t black and white. There are always grey areas.

Suddenly, as if the carpet were ripped from under my feet, I realised that this career I was following wasn’t for me. 

Bugger, bugger, BUGGER. 

How could I go backwards? How could I spend more time and energy planning another career? How could I pull myself back to square one? How can I see myself as one thing and decide to be something completely else? What if I’m not as good at this new career than my original one? What if I’m upsetting everyone by changing my dreams? What if it turns out to be a mistake?

How? What if? How? What if? All these questions are enough to make anyone zonked out of their minds. 

But here's one more question... What if it isn't a mistake? 

There's a reason why I'm having doubts about my original career path. There's a reason why I'm feeling called to this fresh idea. It's not uncommon for people to change their mind. I mean, things change, we change. As we grow, our plans form to fit who we are and who we want to be. What I thought I wanted to be isn't relevant anymore. That's fine, that's natural, but holy moly that is scary.

I'm scared to make such a drastic change. Scared that I'll regret it and end up hating it. Man, it's cooked that we have to think of such gnarly decisions when we're so young. It feels like yesterday that I was worrying about whether or not my Tamagotchi would cark it.

But there's something my Mum once said that keeps ringing in the back of my mind. She said that we're all looking for a sense of purpose and those who choose a career that makes them happy attach purpose to it, making them more content in life. This new career path feels like my purpose now and I mean, isn't life all about being happy?

Still, I'm scared. On one hand, the world is my oyster so I might as well send it, but it's daunting being a little fish in a new pond. I feel like after those oceanic analogies, maybe I should just drop everything and become a marine biologist - kidding, kidding.

But all in all, there's going to be a lot of planning and reworking... but deep down, I'm so bloody excited to switch up my path and see what's on the cards for me down the track. That's the beauty of life - it's unexpected twists and turns. I'm ready to take it by the horns.