08 Dec 2019 | 3 mins

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School is already tough as is. But going through school when you can’t read or write is on a whole new level.

In school, to learn is to read. And to show that you’ve learnt something is to write it down. And when you can’t do either, you’re put at a pretty major disadvantage. And it’s not something that goes away overnight either - it sticks with you from the beginning of school til’ the very end.

One day when I was in Year 2, I remember my teacher called me over at the end of class to say they needed to speak with my mum. I didn’t know what for and neither did Mum, but when she arrived the teacher showed her my work and told her it would be the only one that wasn’t put up and displayed in the classroom. The teacher pointed to everyone else’s and said that I wasn’t on the same level as the other kids and asked my mum what was wrong with me. But Mum didn’t know; I was just an eight-year-old kid. 

Eventually, I had to repeat a year because I was falling behind everyone else. It wasn’t so bad—I was still young and didn’t really know any better. But patterns started to emerge once I got to high school.

Teachers would see my work compared to rest of the students’ and make remarks about it in class. Most of the other kids around me saw this as a license to make fun because of the way certain teachers treated me—like I was stupid.

I became ‘othered’ and wasn’t afforded opportunities to contribute or share to the class. Teachers hardly gave me the time of day, so I wasn’t able to build a relationship with them. Because of this, I started trying my hardest to disassociate in class and often that was by acting up.

I couldn’t keep up with the content and conversations happening around me and I didn’t want to embarrass myself or let others know that they had the right to do the same. So naturally, I started to act like everyone was the enemy.

My behaviour from the classroom rippled into the playground and I created a very brute way of approaching social situations. I was mean and stand-offish to kids who didn’t know me like my mates did.

As I continued through high school, things didn’t get easier for me. I felt like teachers were trying to push me out because I wasn’t on par with the others. Then, when I actually considered leaving high school to go into a trade, it was open season. Family, friends and other kids labeled me as ‘dumb’ and expected me to just cop it because I was the one thinking about dropping out.

It made the decision a lot harder than it should have been, but now that I’ve left high school and started a trade, I know that the ‘dumb’ label doesn’t apply to me anymore. I’m tenfold better at being practical and working with my hands than reading and writing. And I feel so much better putting my skills to good use instead of sitting in a classroom questioning why I can’t get it the way everyone else can.

And in the end, that’s what matters most; being able to find the thing that works for you and taking the steps to go and get that. It took me ages to realise I didn’t have to sit there every day comparing myself to everyone else and that there was something else out there that I was really, truly good at.

Voiced by: Will McNeill