27 Mar 2022
Overview
  • We've all had fleeting moments of self-doubt and maybe even self-hate - but what if they are more than just a one-off thought?
  • It's more common than you think to struggle with loving yo'self, so we're here to tell you exactly how to embrace who you are  ❤️‍🔥✨

Self-love and self-care; terms banded around so much they've almost lost meaning. Although things like drinking a cuppa green tea on the reg or calling your mate up when you're having a moment, it takes more than that to build a healthy relationship with the most important person in your life: you.

So what can we do to feel secure, loved and inherently good down to our core? How do we love ourselves - even the messy parts? Let's suss it out.

✨ Pay close attention to negative thoughts ✨

I've always had a hard time lovin' myself - not, like, the way I look in a particular outfit, or my make up that day - no, it goes deeper than that. To really love who you are, feel valued, and feel confident in your opinions, identity and eveything in between can take guts, hard work and a few tears along the way. 

One thing that helped me was to start paying close attention to the kind of thoughts I was having. It might shock you to learn that most negative thoughts are not grounded in reality. Like, at all. 

 

I used to think things like: "no one cares about me" or "I'm undeserving of this happiness" or "I wish I wasn't like this" and even "everyone's looking at me because they think I'm weird".

Painful, right? But I didn't realise I was having those thoughts - because I just...believed them. They were what I had been telling myself for so long that it felt strange to separate myself from them and recognise that they were complete and utter crap. Absolute rubbish. Literal trash. 

Once I had the revelation that my mind was telling my things that weren't an accurate portrayal of reality, and that my good ol' brain was distorting reality to protect me from 'danger', I started to challenge my false beliefs. And boy, did it (slowly) change things.

It's not always easy, but next time you think something with no actual evidence, or go off assumptions - hold the freakin' phone.  Ask yourself about the false beliefs leading to the self-abandoning thoughts and actions and try to flip it on its head - maybe, just maybe, you're way more amazing, intelligent and loved than you could ever comprehend. 

 

✨ Use action ✨

Once you've started to challenge your negative thoughts, it's probs time to step into action and do things that align with your wants and needs. Wanna skip out on that night your mates had planned? Take a rain check.

Don't want to answer the phone for a few days? Tell your Mum you're taking a break. Don't wanna be mates with that one toxic person anymore? Dump 'em. Feel like you deserve more than your partner can give? Byee.

It's easier said than done, but once you start listening to what your body and mind wants and needs, without going into self-betrayal mode to make things easier for everyone else, you'll never go back. 

You might have more arguments because people love a people-pleaser, but trust me when I say it's worth it. Once you start understanding what you need - and what you defs DON'T need - in your life, and challenging negative thoughts, you'll naturally start to love yourself more for putting yourself first. 

And man does it feel good.❤️‍🔥