Am I Still Mates With My High School Group?

If you told me five years ago as I sat on the top quad of school cackling and squawking with my best mates at lunchtime, that later down the track I'd hardly be texting most of them... I'd tell ya you were on crack. 

But alas, after travelling for a year, moving to new cities and states, and pursuing different lifestyles, a lot of my high school friendships changed, grew, or dissolved. Here's why:

You're not chucked in a classroom together five times a week

You graduate and then suddenly you're running around like a headless chicken trying to land a job, figuring out what to study at uni or TAFE and sorting out visas for your travels overseas. Basically, life starts getting in the way of ✨group bonding✨ and you go from seeing your mates five times a week to once (if you're lucky). 

I travelled for a year and then moved cities for uni. Some friendships just stuck, and others drifted. 

Your paths might not align

After you graduate, you'll grow, change, and basically become yourself. This may mean you have less to talk about with your high school friends.

An extreme example of growing apart would be one of my mates joining a religious cult after high school. She lives in a rural area, doesn't like travelling or partying and has become very introverted. I went down a completely opposite path and that's okay! Were we voted as the 'most iconic duo' at our graduation? Yep. Do we now just send each other a 'happy birthday' message each year? C'est la vie. 

Despite all this, there'll be those mates that stick

I have mates all over Australia. One's a graphic designer in QLD, one is training to be a doctor in the army base in ACT, and one is studying law in NSW. We go on trips, go to festivals, have fortnightly Zoom calls and are constantly voice memoing each other. No matter how different our lives became and how far apart we all are, something about our connection just stuck. 

You might also reconnect with people you never thought of

I became best friends with a girl I didn't ever really vibe with in high school. We ran into each other in Sydney, ended up going to a festival together, and now call every day. I had a mate who moved six hours away in Year 9. After years of not thinking about her, she randomly ended up reaching out to me on Facebook. We ended up travelling together for a year.

Then there are the mates I see once or twice a year but still love so so much. We'll share the hot goss of our lives, reminisce on the good ol' days and have a laugh. 

And you'll meet new mates

After high school, I met hundreds of like-minded people at film school, gigs, work, parties, hostels and creative events.

See, whilst drifting away from friends is bittersweet, you'll meet tonnes of new people more suited towards who you are now. Oh and don't forget how easy it is to send over a "how are you?" message when you're missing your high schoolmates.