How To Stop Caring About Other People's Opinions Of You 

I’m going to start this off by saying I know that it’s easier said than done. For a lot of us as young people, the way we are perceived by the people around us has a big impact on how we feel about ourselves. When you say it out loud it sounds kinda silly, right? Sometimes we are so harsh on ourselves. At times we decide who we are as people and what we are worth based on other people’s opinions of us, and how they behave toward us. Yet we know ourselves better than anyone else knows us, and because of this, only we can truly decide who we are.
 

Why do we care so much about the opinions of others?

When we are young and going through high school, uni or anything similar, the need to feel socially accepted is massive. During this stage of our lives, being considered ‘popular’ seems so important. But in all transparency, one day no one is really going to care. If people don’t like us, our first reaction is usually to think, ‘oh well there must be something wrong with me.’ But we need to take a step back and think about what their preconceived judgement has to say about themselves. 

I wish in high school I acquired more confidence to be who I truly wanted to be, rather than constantly altering myself and dimming my light in order to fit into what I thought was the so-called ‘popular’ group. Pretending to be something you're not and trying to push yourself into a bracket is never going to allow you to feel 100% content. Nor will it help you find the people who are on the same wavelength as you.

I now realise people will like you more for being your true self. Sure, it might be fewer people, but they are real connections rather than a bunch of people just knowing of you.
 

Overcoming the fear of others' opinions 

It’s only human nature to want to be liked - this is normal. Although as we get older we need to realise that the right people will like us for who we are, and the ones who don’t like us don’t matter. You never ever should feel the need to change yourself in any way in order to make yourself more likeable. When you try to fit into the little bubble that other people perceive as ‘cool’, you are dimming your shine for someone who really doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes we may not even notice ourselves doing it. It only takes a bit of self-awareness or the right people coming into your life to show you what it genuinely feels like to be loved for being your full self. 

I was recently reading a book and there was a quote that stuck out to me which stated, ‘You can’t have a hand in every person’s opinion on you or behaviours towards you’. This is something that I will take with me for the rest of my life. As you get older you learn to become more sure of yourself, and as that happens, the opinions of others will hopefully start to fade away. And as for people’s behaviour towards you, this is something that is completely out of your control. Trying to dictate how people behave towards you is only going to leave you stressed and drained. It’s not worth it. Don’t ever let people walk all over you, and never let their behaviour towards you influence your own self-worth. As I’ve learned, if people behave poorly towards you for no reason, it’s often only an indication of how they feel about themselves.
 

Learning how to stay in my own lane, knowing who I am and what I’m worth has allowed me to realise that my sense of self shouldn’t change due to how people talk about me or how they act towards me. You have to be strong in knowing that.

In this life, people are going to love you and people are going to dislike you. As hard as it has been to wrap my head around, you really can’t be everyone's cup of tea. But the people who matter are going to think you are the best cup of tea.