18 Jun 2021

Mark Twain once said that “Comparison is the death of joy”.

But it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, thinking your body isn’t good enough, your clothes aren't funky enough, you aren't wealthy, successful, or intelligent enough...

We scroll through social media, comparing our lives to people we may or may not know. We try to keep up with our mates and peers. We waste money and mental energy, trying to be like 'that person'. We become anxious, unworthy and frazzled.

 

So how can we get into a habit of not comparing ourselves... because news flash, you're UNREAL! Well, I'm glad you asked.

Compete with ONLY yourself

Instead of focusing on where you are compared to others, focus on yourself, boo!

Where were you at this time last year? Where are you compared to where you originally wanted to be? 

Are you on your way to achieving your goals? It doesn't matter how small or big they are; maybe you wanna become fluent in German, learn to surf, write a screenplay or score an internship at a radio station... Grind, hustle, practice and as long as you're better than you were yesterday, you're golden.

Write down goals, journal to keep progress and clarity, tell people what you wanna achieve... I've said it before and I'll say it again, SEND IT!

Focus on what makes you red hot

You were a winner the second you came into existence. Literally. Do you know how many other swimmers you beat to get to your mum's egg? Is that a rank way of thinking about it? Yes. Do I care? No.

Say it with me. You were the sperm that won. You are a winner, so start acting like it!

You have strengths, talents and accomplishments that the other swimmers couldn't even dream about. So remind yourself! Write down three of your strengths or accomplishments regularly. 

Yeah sure, I'll be narcissistic and share mine, for the point of the exercise:

1. I'm funny (at least to me).

2. I'm spontaneous and up for anything. If someone wants to travel or go to a festival, do something wack like skydive or get a tattoo or try something new, I'm ya girl.

3. I'm always seeking to learn something new! I practice my French tous les jours (every day lol weird flex but okay), am doing a philosophy course and reading a book about neuroscience. I wanna know it ALL! 

Now, enough about me! Do you!

Cheer on other people

You are what you attract. I mean, take note of those happy people that don't say a negative word about anyone. A lot of the time, positive things and people flow to them.

Be like them! Don't tear people down because you're jealous of them. Pick them up! Separate yourself from the equation and acknowledge that what they've done is so admirable!! Share their enthusiasm, shout them a meal, cheer them on from the sidelines. They'll cheer for you right back.

Be grateful

Do I have to say it again? You are a winner! You're alive! So be grateful for it.

Even on rough days, keep you cup-half-full by writing down things you're grateful for. Maybe that's a song, a book, a friend, the weather, the beach, a new fave shirt, a funny Tik Tok... whatever floats your dingy!

Be grateful for what you have and where you are! If you can find contentment now, things will only go up.

Be aware

Be aware that social media is just a highlight reel. You're seeing the best of everyone.

Be aware that we normally compare the worst of ourselves to the best of others.

Be aware that social media may be damaging your mental health. Do a cleanse! Delete the apps from your phone! Keep that bad boy on airplane mode for a solid few hours.

Be aware that you aren't perfect and will never will be. No one is, and that's the beauty of life.

Now. I'll say it one more time for the people at the back. YOU WERE THE SPERM THAT WON SO START ACTING LIKE A WINNER!