27 Mar 2017

How many times have you put off something you’ve really wanted to do because you have a big test coming up, or a massive assignment that needs doing? On a bigger scale, how many times have you thought, ‘once I get my dream job’ or ‘meet my soul mate’ or ‘move out of home’, then you can be happy? Things will settle down and you’ll be able to ease up and actually enjoy things, right?

I get it. When everything seems to be so hectic and stressful sometimes all you can do is put your head down and get through it. Take things day by day, trying to push through the other side.

But what happens when there is no other side?

When you hand in that essay and have another one due the next week? When you smash out a week’s worth of 12 hour shifts and realise you’re going to have to do it again come Monday? When a long day turns into a long week, into a long month, into a long year? Then what?

We save our favourite things; the movies we’ve been meaning to watch, the recipes we’ve been meaning to try, the books we’ve been meaning to read. We tuck them away, promising that soon, soon, we’ll be able to bring them back out and fully enjoy them.

We get so caught up in our responsibilities and deadlines commitments and we think that we can’t fully enjoy things because right now we don’t have the time or the energy. Or maybe we use the good things as a reward, and think we’ll be able to enjoy them even more once we’ve ticked off the last thing on the to-do list. But the to-do list is never ending.

When my Grandma came out of hospital she asked me to rearrange her kitchen cabinet. She wanted me to move the ‘special’ plates and bowls to the front, where she could reach them and use them, every day. The ‘special’ ones had been sitting at the back for years, and were covered in a thin film of dust. She told me she had been saving them for special occasions but when she recovered from being sick she realised that the one day you’re waiting for may never come around. You have to enjoy the good things now, while you still can.

I think there’s an important lesson in this. One that should be learnt long before we hit our 80s and are frightened that soon we will run out of time to enjoy the things we want to.

With school and uni and life constantly making us feel pressured and stressed, we push ourselves through; willing ourselves to jump the next hurdle with the hope that soon, the finish line will be in sight. In a cruel twist, you realise that no matter how many hurdles you jump, the finish line isn’t getting any closer and sometimes it looks like it’s getting further away.

What we need to realise is that it’s the little things that give us a break from the daily grind, the so-called ‘special’ stuff that gives us a chance to see the bigger picture and ease the stress of day to day. Hit play on the movie that’s been in your watch list for six months. Wear the expensive foundation you’ve been saving for special nights. Light the candle that’s been sitting on your desk since Christmas.

We need to learn to stop chasing the happiness horizon, where joy is perpetually just out of reach and no matter how hard we work or how hard we push, we cannot seem to grasp it.  Stop putting off being happy for the finish line that never arrives. Remember to appreciate the good stuff, while we’re still young and able to.