How To Stop Thinking About Your Situationship

So your situationship has recently come to an end. How do you stop thinking about it 24/7? To be honest, I would absolutely love to know. I guess this article is going to be a bit of an experimental piece as I try to work it out myself.

It's that time of the year when summer/autumn situationships come to an end. The start of the new season craves warmth, hot chocolate, affection, movies, and somebody to share it with. What can I say? Hot girl summer is over, and relationship winter is in.

To start us off, let's take a deep dive into why we are so stuck on our silly little situationship in the first place. Like why does it seem situationships can be far more complicated to recover from than relationships? A situationship is exciting, it's unknown, it's confusing, it's butterfly-inducing, it makes you feel hopeful.

Maybe sometimes falling in love with someone’s potential can be more full-on than going through getting to know someone and understanding why it can never happen.

It seems as though when we get all excited and our minds go into relationship mode, meaning we have grown to really like this person and we want to build a relationship with them. We get all worked up just to become let down by the other person being, well, a bit of a rat and not reciprocating these feelings in the way that you expected (I lack any self-awareness when it comes to situationships). The talking stage does break down, and we are left feeling confused and hurt. After this, it can take months, even years to recover.

Unknown or unexperienced love can be a lot more hurtful than a love where you eventually experienced closure. You’d rather have a sad ending than no ending at all. We are always going to wonder and want to know what it would have been like to completely fall for a specific person if we never made it to that level with them.

So, how do we just move on and forget this person? Firstly, we need to be patient with ourselves and give it time. Like I said, unfortunately, it could take a long time. It really just depends on how strong your feelings for this person were and how the passing of time affects those emotions or memories. Lost relationships can often feel like a kind of grief, like someone you know who isn’t there anymore. Allow yourself to work through those stages of grief—from anger and disbelief, all the way to acceptance.

The most important thing is probably realising that the kind of person who you would want to be in a relationship with would have made it work because they value you as you are. Therefore, anyone who’s dumb enough to pass you up wasn’t good enough in the first place. In figuring this out, you learn what you need and deserve in an actual relationship. Once you have gained this recognition, you begin to regain your self-worth and want to strive for more in your next relationship or situationship.

I know this is going to sound cliché, but I've found one of the best things to heal yourself after a situationship is to re-learn all the special things about yourself. Take time doing the things you love and things that make you feel inspired and motivated. It's really all about taking back your confidence and growing to realise how amazing you are as a person. You deserve a lot more than someone who doesn't completely appreciate you or doesn’t provide you with the reassurance, support, admiration, and comfort that you need within a relationship.