07 Jan 2016

Today I found a list of five criteria titled “I Will Know I’m An Adult When…” that I wrote at the end of 2012.

Back then, at 18, I had just graduated high school and I was feeling ready to start a new chapter in my life. The notebook this list was written in was full of university plans and big ideas of getting famous on the internet.

Yes, this was hope, before the approximately 2,489 crises I have had in the years since, spent floating in I Have No Idea What To Do Land. Before dropping out of one uni and moving to another and then dropping out of that one and questioning whether I even want to go at all. Before new friendships crumbled and old friendships crumbled and different friendships solidified.

I’m sure if I asked you to write a list with the same title, your five criteria would be completely different. We all have goals.

The point is, there are two sides of adulthood. Legally, you are an adult at 18, but ask any 18 year old if they feel like an adult and I guarantee they will say “not even close.”*

*or something to that effect. Just let me have this.

To me, adulthood is a concept that we shape ourselves as we grow up. It’s personal, and it’s about how you feel. There are no rites of passage set in stone that suddenly make you feel like you’re set. There are no giant wrought iron gates with a neon sign saying “Welcome To Adulthood!” next to them. The path to “adulthood” is made up of your own personal goals and beliefs. It’s fine to get lost on the way. I reckon a lot of adults still feel like kids in adult costumes (not that kind of adult costumes).

Adults expect us to be “adults” as soon as we leave school. Make decisions for yourself, they say, but only the right ones. Choose your path, they say, but only the right one. Have a great time, they say, but make no mistakes.

In my experience, it takes a little longer to get yourself together than the short months between HSC and the start of uni. Turning 18 does not magically make you fully self aware and self-actualised. It’s my birthday in a few weeks, and I’ll let you know, but I suspect turning 21 doesn’t either.

I’m still not together, but I’m working my way there.

So the list is as follows, and I still haven’t achieved anything on it. But that’s okay. One day.

I will know I'm an adult when:

  1. I can stand to listen to AM radio

  2. I no longer feel it necessary to sing along to every song I know (and try the ones I don’t)

  3. I am able to drink wine and actually like the taste

  4. I can stomach oysters

  5. I can open my own Chupa-Chups

How are you faring on the path to adulthood, according to my list? Do you think you will ever make it?