26 Nov 2020

Schoolies is a rite of passage, normally associated with a week long piss up where everyone gets drunk, fools around and lays by the beach. It truly is the best way to reward yourself after thirteen years of school.

While schoolies is usually synonymous with a pilgrimage to the Gold Coast, Bali or Fiji, these thirteen things will still definitely happen regardless. So without further ado, here's the hot goss. 

1. Someone will get sunburnt

It's day one and this dude looks like a lobster. 

2. You'll hook up a random

It's inevitable. You'll hook up with somebody, probably somebody you normally wouldn't.

Just blame it on the beer goggles!

3. Someone won't make it out

There's always that one mate who completely writes themselves off at pres. 

You had two cruisers Emily, pull yourself together!!!

4. Someone will shave off their eyebrows...

Whether it be the entire brow or just a slit, someone will force you to shave your eyebrows.

If not, they'll just do it in your sleep... 

5. ...or get a mullet

Business in the front, party in the back. The neckwarmer. The achy-breaky-bad-mistakey. The beaver paddle. Whatever you wanna call it, mullets are a groovy schoolies tradition. 

It could potentially ruin your chances of finding the love of your life at schoolies, but your mum will still think you're cute. 

6. Someone will run into the ocean naked

Why is there always one person at schoolies with a perculiar obsession with volunteering to streak without any form of provocation? 

Just pray no one steals your clothes if you do choose to partake. 

7. You'll eat a lot of kebabs

Let's cut to the chase, your health won't be in it's prime at schoolies. 

You'll be living off maccas and kebabs and when you can’t stomach breakfast, juice mixed with alcohol is the next best healthiest alternative. 

8. There'll be at least one fight

With everyone in such close quarters, there is bound to be some conflict. It's usually over something super serious, like you kissed their crush or stole their hair straightener. 

The audacity!!!

9. Someone will get a bad tattoo

From Colonel Sanders to a cactus wearing a somerbero, someone will get a drunken tattoo they regret. 

#NORAGRETS though right?

10. You'll lose a lot

You’ll lose your room keys. You’ll lose your dignity vomiting up Cruisers on the beach. You'll lose your clothes. 

Whether they’ve spotted someone really hot, caught a whiff of the 24-hour kebab or just decided to make their own adventure, you'll definitely lose your friends on more than one occassion. 

11. There will be a mum of the group

Can be easily spotted holding a mount franklin bottle in one hand and someone's hair in the other. 

At least you'll never forget to wear a jumper and to eat a somewhat sustainable meal before going out??! Nagging works!

12. DRAMAAAA

That couple will break up then get back together again numerous times, people will sleep with people they shouldn’t, and some are going to reignite that Year 8 grudge they’ve been holding onto. 

Wait what? She slept with WHO? Pass the popcorn!

13. You will be extremely hungover

But you'll make memories you'll never forget (or can't remember). It's all character building though right??? 

If there's one thing that will definitely happen, it's that schoolies will be THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!!!

Have fun, but stay stafe out there fam!