14 Apr 2020

Remember when you first learnt how to ride a bike? You started off with some training wheels until you were riding dirty round your street. As you got older, the training wheels came off and Mum and Dad had to hold you up until you had enough momentum to avoid completely stacking it with the bloody hands and knees to show for it.

Well, learning to drive is a little like learning to ride a bike. 

It’s similar in the respect that you’ve got Mum and Dad there (sometimes an older brother or sister, random friend that has their licence or other qualified adult)–but this time round they’re holding on for dear life and screaming at you to brake when a car is within eye shot.

Here’s five things that are bound to happen when you’re learning to drive:

1. Your parents are going to yell a lot

You’ve been a passenger all your life and now you’re finally in the driver’s seat. And by no surprise, your parents are going to have a lot to say when you’re driving.

Some of my favourite screaming matches include the “you’ve forgot to turn off the hand brake,” the obvious “slow down or you’re going to kill someone” and the sassy “you’re supposed to actually stop at stop signs.”

Arguments with your parents are inevitable and they’ll be hurling abuse left, right and centre. You won't be the only one copping it though, get ready for the road rage that'll come when someone cuts you off in traffic or refuses to let you merge.

2. You'll get stuck on a roundabout

The devil works hard but roundabouts work harder. 

Taking on a roundabout for the first time is the biggest multitasking moment of your life. You’ve got to worry about entering the roundabout, indicating, looking in your mirrors and changing gears all while traffic is zooming towards and around you.

By the time you’ve processed everything, you’re probably stuck on your second loop around the roundabout. Eventually, you'll get off but just know you're not the first person to do a couple of laps first.

3. You're going to struggle with parking

Whether it’s nose first or a reverse parallel park, it’s going to take some time to get parking down pat. I remember my parents taking me to an empty carpark and still my anxiety would flare up in fear that I was holding up a car behind me.

I wish I could say practice makes perfect, but parking is one of those ‘come as you are’ things, meaning you can nail it one time and completely mess it up the next. Every time I call it quits on a spot after my fourth attempt, the iconic quote from Clueless always rings in my head: “you’re just a virgin who can’t drive.”

4. You'll forget your lefts and rights

The amount of times I've formed an ‘L’ on both my hands when turning is far too much. Or, mum will tell me to chuck a right only for me to start moving over into the left lane. I don't know if it's just because there's so much going on that my brain completely blanks or if I'm just an idiot. Either way, don't be surprised if you forget simple pieces of information. It happens to everyone at least once or twice.

5. You'll learn how to top up a car with petrol

It’s a thing that's not often spoken about but filling up a car is a task in itself the first time you do it. You’ve got to pull in on the right side, pick the right fuel and top up your beaut stallion. All while your qualified adult is sitting there yelling at you that you've parked too far away from the pump and won't be able to reach the car. The harsh reality that also comes with this is how bloody expensive petrol is and how much your parents must fork out just to let you drive around empty car parks and back streets. Thanks, mum and dad.