28 Dec 2019

Is there anything more nerve-wracking than a first date?

After spending seven sleepless weeks trying to work up the courage to ask them out in the first place, you’ve now gotta put yourself on the line again as you spend a good few hours convincing them you’re meant to be together.

Stressful stuff.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be like that.

First dates should be a walk in the park. You meet up, show each other who you are, then decide if you like each other.

No games, no false impressions, no worries.

1. Don’t go to the movies

Going to see a movie should never have become the stereotypical location for a first date.

If you’re trying to get to know someone, what could ya possibly learn from spending two hours watching them out of your peripherals whilst pretending to watch Johnny Depp play an eccentric pirate?

Go somewhere you can learn about each other. It can be more fun than simply going out for dinner, but it’s gotta be more engaging than just going to watch a movie. Get creative.

2. Presentation

I know, I know, you want to find that unjudgmental angel who doesn’t care what you look like, that you feel comfortable around dressed however you like.

That’s perfectly reasonable, and that person does exist.

However, for date #1, you can’t be rocking up in your dessert-stained trackies and a Bintang singlet.

If they’re the one, you’ll be able to rock the #wokeuplikethis look soon enough – but for now, give yourself the best shot by looking somewhat presentable.

I’m not saying ya need to go all out, but if the choice between a clean white t-shirt and your mud-stained footy polo presents itself, well, I think you know what to do.

3. Listen

As much as you’re dying to tell your date how great you are, sometimes showing them is a much more effective way to get that message across. And what’s a better way to do that than by showing them how great a listener you are?

Ask questions and listen.

Don’t spend the whole date listening, though. If you’re asked a question, answer it. Don’t rush through your answer in order to get back to showing off your mad listening skillz.

It’s a delicate balance.

Oh god I’m overcomplicating this!

4. Keep it fun

Save the talk about your crazy ex, your sick uncle, or your mindful morning routine for another day… Maybe date #5.

Of course, if there’s anything about you that they really should know from the get-go (maybe you’re leaving the country forever in two weeks, you’ve got highly-contagious conjunctivitis, or there’s an axe-murderer looking for you literally right now), then, by all means, let them know.

Otherwise, keep it light-hearted. Give them an honest impression of who you are, but keep it on the fun side.

5. Eye contact

One staff member at Year13 reckons we should be dedicating a whole article to eye contact.

“It makes them feel comfortable, builds engagement, helps you to read them, and most importantly creates trust… It’s a lost art, one might even say.”

His words, not mine.

But he makes a very valid point. Get off ya phone, forget the shiny object in the background, and give your date your full, undivided attention.

6. Please, please, PLEASE, don’t drop the L-bomb

Please.

7. Be yourself

I hate to sound like every teacher, parent, motivational speaker, or kids-television-show-protagonist you’ve ever heard – but seriously – be yourself.

Projecting a false image of who you are on your first date is only setting the two of you up for disappointment. Take everything you know about yourself and display it proudly.

Got a weird-sounding laugh? Laugh away.

Don’t know anything about politics? Don’t act like ya do.

Missing a finger? Flip ‘em the bird.

Okay maybe not that last one, but you get the drift.

First dates should be easy. If you know nothing about the other person, then you’ve got nothing to lose. If you can roll into that date cool, calm, collected, and ready for a good time, then you’re giving yourself every chance for success.