22 Jun 2021

 

Moving into your first sharehouse is an adventure, but like any journey, it's important to know what the landmarks are. While we're all locked down in Aus, why not allow us to take you on a tour through the sights, smells and wonders of a typical sharehouse.

 

1. Fancy Artistic Candle Installation

We've always said that every share house needs something that looks like it was lifted from a school production of the Phantom Of The Opera. Some bonus points to be earned here if the candle is mounted on a cheap bottle of wine, the wax has dripped on to something far more valuable, and if you've all completely lost track of who brought them in in the first place.

2. Random Sleeping On The Lounge

A close relative of the walk-of-shamer, the Random Sleeping On The Lounge always manages to nab the best spot in the house, ruining whatever plans you had to use that room. They're especially good when they wake up at 3pm and start turning the place over looking for their wallet that they definitely left in the Uber last night.

3. Not-So-Spacious Fridge

Fridge real estate is a classic fight-starter in any sharehouse and just like Australia's housing market, it's all very valuable, and there's not enough to go around. Nothing like wanting to put your leftovers in the fridge, opening the door and finding out that your housemate is like, really into making his own pickles now, so the fridge is full of briny cucumbers. Once again, bonus points if there's something that is clearly making the entire fridge reek, and you either can't find it or nobody wants to admit it's theirs.

4. Spacious Rat Hole

Much like the Random Sleeping On The Couch, some visitors just don't know when they've overstayed their welcome. The crazy thing is that you bet that somehow, that rat has a nicer room than you, despite never paying any rent (as far as you know). Pull your weight, Ratthew!

5. Cork & Canvas Home Art Gallery

Just when you thought you'd seen enough sloppily painted pictures of sunsets, in stumbles your housemate from their corporate team-building event with, you guessed it, another picture of a sunset! You have to admit, they're getting better every time.

6. Exotic Coin Collection

Why worry about not being able to go overseas in your lifetime due to the pangolin's curse, when you have a world tour right here in your own home? Sure, half the countries these coins belong to don't exist any more, but who gets to say what's 'legal tender' anyway? Take it down to the local shops and see what they'll give you for a square coin.

7. Nice Wallpaper

You know, we swear that when we got told about paying rent there was some discussion about that money being put towards, you know, upkeep of the sharehouse? The globe may be heating up, but in your place, somehow it's always snowing.

8. Nice Carpet

Ever wanted to feel like you live in an accounting firm in the 1990's? Well with this patented sharehouse carpet, you'll be teleconferencing with the best of 'em. Typically seen in shades of grey or beige, with flecks of mould like your very own personal petri dish. Only upside here is that any stains just kind of blend in with the ones that are alreay there.

9. Shower Stool

Picture this - you open your encrusted eyes to a splitting headache. Memories of double-strength hard ciders pass through your brain, which feels like its been filled with sand. Two things are for certain: you're hung over, and you desperately need a shower. But how will you manage standing up for long enough to get a good wash in? Enter the shower stool. Why risk getting the dizzies like a chump when you can slump over in a stool and think about your poor life choices in comfort? 

10. Video Games From A Decade Ago

This one absolutely rips. The latest consoles are a bit out of the old price range at the moment, but there's nothing stopping you from booting up some absolute classics from times gone by. Anyone up for some rounds of Modern Warfare 2? FIFA14? We've seen house friendships torn apart by Mario Kart, but it's always worth it for the sweet taste of victory.

11. Heater/Clothes Dryer Combo

Now this one's just smart thinking. WIth the addition of a small electric heater, preferably purchased from a certain German supermarket, you could have your clothes dry and toasty in no time at all. Fire hazard who? Sorry, we can't hear you over the sound of progress.

12. Neglected House Plants 

Anyone who tells you succulents are un-killable clearly hasn't met your flatmates, who have somehow turned a house into a place where plants go to die. Not only that, but they clearly couldn't afford a funeral, as their shrivelled, wilting bodies are still all over the place, with no next-of-kin to give them the burial they deserved. RIP leafy, you were gone too soon.

Moving out can be pretty tough - there's all sorts of chores and to-dos that they just don't teach you how to take care of while you're in school. That's why we've got our Academy to help ya out. Take a gander over here.