16 Apr 2019

I hated studying in high school and I hate studying now. I don’t see myself doing much of it anymore, but even just the thought of it makes me feel bored. In high school, I had great friends and great teachers, but I never went well in exams, ever. Surprisingly, I was always okay with this.

 

I don’t think that I’m dumb, but I’m also aware that this opinion is subjective. Everyone learns differently, and my version of learning was just not really caring about the things that didn’t interest me. Of course, there were subjects I liked (like Art and Drama) but in terms of the rest of my subjects (especially my 'important' ones like English), they really never stressed me out because I really never gave a crap. I know this probably seems lazy and immature, and I get where you’re coming from, but I’m lucky in that I’ve never, ever been stressed by exams.

I’ve always had this feeling that I was going to be okay after high school, that my path would work out in whatever way it did, and regardless of a mark, I’d be okay. There’s a level of privilege that comes with this statement, but in terms of what I wanted to do in life, exams never phased me. No number was going to define me. No ranking because of an essay on Shakespeare was going to tell me how worthy I was. Truly, I just didn’t want to play into what school was teaching us – that our stress was a one-way ticket to high-school super stardom, something that is objectively temporary.

Unless I enjoyed the subject and enjoyed the work, I hardly studied for a test. I never had the all-nighters or insane study blocks that people talked rampantly about. I thought wasting energy on something I believed held no real currency in the world was pointless. Instead, I filled my time looking into things I could do when I’m left school, that wasn't based on a bunch of exams. 

I completely believe high school is a formative time in a person’s life, so I didn’t want to rob myself of that, and that’s why I stayed. Exams were just not a priority.

I’m not expecting everyone to agree with the way I did things, but one year out of school and I couldn’t be happier. I never compromised my mental health for something that had no real relevance to me. I loved my high school experience for the most part, but I’m still so bloody glad that I never cared about my exams.

I know this is easier said than done, but truly think about what you're working towards. Do you want a high ATAR because your dream course at uni has a ridiculous cut-off? Have a look into pathway programs or back door entry. Are you pushing yourself because your parents expect you to do well? Find something you enjoy, and show them how much more successful you could be if you followed that passion. Stressed about exams because that's what we've been taught for the past thirteen years of our lives? I feel ya and you're definitely not alone. But consider whether you want this stress to dictate your teenage years.

This is different for everyone, but not once has my ATAR been used against me in furthering what I want to do with my life. it's relevant for approximately a week and from there? Well, it's up to you to figure out how you're going to get to where you want to be.

I know it's impossible to suddenly decide to switch off any and all feelings of stress associated with your exams but do your best to just have a look at why you're feeling like this, and you might realise you can change things around.