12 Feb 2017

A Study in Modern Love #2

Thesis: The day cheapens the spirit of Christma– I mean, your relationship. Yeah. That.

Undoubtedly, at this very moment, many of you are frantically booking 8pm reservations at Dorsia, figuring out which flower shops has the best bargains for roses, and sighing in relief at the realization the chocolates you bought were double tiered (so you might as well finish off the top layer, they’ll be none the wiser).

Then there are those that scratch our heads and wonder, “what’s the point?”.

Sure, it’s a great day to get a little sentimental, put on some big boy pants, have an adult meal at a place where the napkins are cloth and don’t come out of a dispenser. Let’s not mention dimming the lights at the end of the nights to try something freakier than usual that you saw on the internet once…

But after all the pleasantries: gifts that will never be used (side note, I have plenty of candles up for adoption, looking for forever homes), and wines you “savoured” while pretending you didn’t chug out of a box throughout high school, take a second to think. Does it really prove anything about how you feel about your significant other?

The resounding logic behind the ‘meh’-factor of Valentine’s Day is much like that of New Year’s Resolutions. If you really wanted to make a personal change, why wait for a calendar to tell you to. By the same merit, if you really cared about your other half, why wait for a calendar to do something about it. Valentine’s day is a “holiday” in which you have no personal attachment to, like an anniversary. This year, in the US, Valentine’s day will contribute a whopping $18.2 billion to the economy. While this is less than the 2016 figure of $19.7 billion, I think we can safely agree it’s a tad bit ridiculous. Imagine what could be achieved with $18.2 billion dollars. One can see how the festivities quickly becomes about the material, and less about the affection.

On a slightly more external insight, I went out of my way to “interview” twenty-seven people in order to gauge how important Valentine’s day is to them. Oddly specific sample size? Yes. But that totally wasn’t because they were the only ones online when I was typing this up. The results? Not to sound like a dick, and I hope to God none of them are reading this, but those who were more invested in the holiday, have had a shit run at relationships. Short term, overly dramatic, and just terrible choices in general. The ones that didn’t care, on the other hand, have been in healthy, long term relationships. It’s important to remember correlation, not causation, but need I connect more dots? I realize at this point in time that this is very unscientific as far as a social science study goes, the term “science” here being thrown around very liberally, and “interview research” being Facebook inboxes. But you animals enjoy the entertainment value so go with it, ke?

To conclude, while I’m all for the clichés and lavish living, let’s all remember what the day is really about: something I’m not allowed to be overly explicit about but have already alluded to, letting another human being know how tolerable they are, and the discount candy the following morning. Not necessarily in that order, but not not necessarily in that order.

Loving you long time,

Saint Garrentine