31 Oct 2019

Formal night has it all. Celebrations, drama, good vibes, after parties, expensive suits and dresses, drama, terrible music and drama.

It also has a few classic stereotypes that you’re guaranteed to find at any formal you attend.

1. The one wearing vans

You can’t believe it. This guy has a good-looking suit on, his new haircut is looking sharp, his smile a million bucks, but you look to his feet and – oh my god – he’s still wearing his trusty black vans. So close but so far.

Often seen hanging out with the guy wearing the same suit he wore to the Year 10 formal which is now way too small for him, these boys would clearly be much more comfortable in a singlet and board shorts.

2. The inseparable couple

They enter the formal together, holding hands, looking dazzling. They hit the dancefloor, arm in arm and stare deep into each other’s eyes as they sway slowly along to upbeat bangers like Mr. Brightside.

They sit next to each other on the bus to the afterparty and spend the night content with no more company than that of each other. Any conversation with anyone else is short, pleasant, and hurriedly put to an end so they can return to their lover’s gaze.

In terms of making the party fun, the inseparable couple is bringing approximately nothing to the table.

3. The surprisingly incredible dancer

This person might have been the most unco person in the class when you were in P.E., but my lord can they move their body on a dancefloor.

It’s not uncommon for the whole df to completely stop and watch in awe as this unlikely star becomes seemingly possessed by the music and gracefully moves their once-useless body along to the beat.

4. The one next to the snacks table

This was me. Actually, I think about five of these were me, but this one was definitely me. I’d still be there today if they didn’t pack the snacks table up and carry it away from me as I screamed, cried and begged for them to stop.

You’ll know who this person was at your formal when you look back on the night and realise that every conversation you had with them was by the snack table.

5. The one who got waaaaay too drunk

Year 12 formals have a strange dynamic because a bunch of the attendees are still yet to turn eighteen. That’s if your school allows you to drink at your formal at all.

Even if drinking isn’t allowed, I swear there still manages to be one person who is absolutely wasted. Loud, ignorant, staggering side-to-side, maybe even crying if you’re lucky. Their parents will be the least-stoked parents there, no two ways about it.

6. The drama king/queen

This couple is almost the exact opposite of the inseparable couple. They’ll kick, scream, fight, tell each other that they hate one another. And not only that - they’ll make sure everybody sees or hears about everything terrible thing going on in their lives.

They’ll spend the afterparty apart, in tears, surrounded by a few close mates telling them it’ll all be okay.

Then, when you look at their Insta stories the following morning and it’s all like “last night was the best night evaaaa with my boo!”… Get a grip.

7. The control freak

This person most likely organised your formal. He/she has everything planned down to the minute and doesn’t quite understand that the party is all about letting loose and celebrating being free of plans and structure and rules (to an extent).

Another likely candidate to end up in tears before the night is done, The control freak will eventually look back on the night fondly after everyone thanks them for organising such a fun night.

8. The glow up

There’s probably gonna be someone you don’t recognize at your formal. You’re starting to think “I’ve never seen this stranger in my life, did they really go to our school?”, when suddenly you realise you know exactly who it is.

Yep, that guy who put literally zero effort into his appearance throughout the past six years of high school has done a complete transformation, and man, he looks good. From wearing unironed shirts, jeans and joggers every mufti day, to being an absolute stud on formal night. You suddenly find yourself questioning everything you’ve ever known.