10 Apr 2020

It’s fact that relationships suck. They’re a terrible waste of time and anyone in them is lying to themselves.

Okay, maybe I’m just bitter.

Looking at relationships from afar can make you feel a little lonely and a little jealous, but there’s a skill that comes with being the single friend.

Having a group of single friends is liberating. No one is tied down in relationships and everyone is able to live their best life, focusing all of themselves on making sure their friendship group looks after each other in the best way possible.

But then, slowly but surely, your friends start getting into relationships and things start to change.

As each weekend passes, your newly coupled friends become busier and are dedicating their time to their new-found crush.

Which, in all honesty, is good for them, but being the single friend in these situations can be a little isolating.

All of a sudden, you’re the third wheel. You’re not in on the jokes that your friend and their partner have with each other and you begin to spend less and less time with them.

If they’re a good friend, they’ll stick around as much as they can and you won’t be able to blame them for being infatuated with their new guy or girl.

But you also need to evaluate whether or not your mate is really making an effort to keep your friendship and whether or not the relationship is healthy for either party.

I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where your pal has accidentally had awful taste in a partner and just can’t see past the fact that they are completely and totally incompatible with each other; whether that be conflicting personalities or an unhealthy power dynamic.

The skill lies in being able to spot these warning signs before your friend gets hurt. But, with great power comes great responsibility, and you don’t want to jeopardise your friendship or their relationship because you put your nose in at the wrong time.

If you can see a friend’s relationship is genuinely unhealthy, you have to be careful with how you approach it.

Saying something to them is theoretically a good route to take. But sometimes their deep, intense love for their partner can override your logical, third party advice.

If this is the case, all you can do is hope that the relationship dwindles away organically and be there to pick up the pieces, like your friends would if you were in the same position.

Being the single friend isn’t all bad news though.

You have the freedom to be unrestricted by someone else’s pressure; to spend some time looking after you, and only you.

You have the luxury of being with whoever you want, whenever you want, even if it’s just a cheeky fling.

Being single is fun! And sad sometimes. But fun!

Navigating this weird mixture of feelings can be hard, but taking advantage of the positives of being single and ready to mingle will let you thrive.