15 Apr 2020

The heart wants what it wants… but apparently, my heart wants exactly what it can’t have. 

Fantastic.

If crushes were rational, logical and under our conscious and cognitive control, life would be a lot easier. But alas, Cupid has other plans for us mere mortals.

I blame that baby-winged angel devil every time I fall for someone I can never have - whether it's geography, sexuality or reality... (seriously, if you've never imagined yourself dating Harry Potter, just don't talk to me).

But for real, I've had crushes on a friends’ ex, a best friends’ sibling and even my freaking English teacher. Look, in my defence, he looked kinda like Ryan Gosling.

It can be tough to put your finger on exactly why your heart wants what it can't have. But here's my theory.

 

The brain just froths over what it can't have. If someone tells me not to eat the last slice of cake, it will taunt me for hours, their statement ringing in my ears until I finally give in to my urges and devour the cake.

That also might speak louder truths about my lack of self-control when it comes to sugar but I think the real message is, the temptation is sometimes fueled by something that we can't have. It's put up high on a pedestal and becomes almost sacred. 

Why do your mates say: "play hard to get" when you're tuning someone? It's because, for some reason, we love a chase. We love a thrill and a little bit of a challenge.

Although crushing on my English teacher was a little more than a challenge considering he was years older than me and had a wife and kids...

But here's the thing that may hurt to hear but the proof is in the pudding. Crushes fade.

Most of the time, they're thrilling but short-lived. They're also, for the most part, pretty easy to get over - whether it's avoiding the person, unfollowing them on social media or venting to friends. But that doesn't always mean you can get over your crush quick smart.

Sometimes it's a lil' harder than you imagine and that can just be because you've built an image in your mind that they're the one for you. I can promise though, it gets easier over time. You've experienced these feelings before, started to build an awareness of when you're crushing and can sense the signs that perhaps this crush is unattainable.

And if this isn't your first time at the rodeo and you're finding yourself hopelessly devoted to someone you can't have, that's okay too. You're someone who falls quickly and hard, but there's others out there like you looking for a crush too. And when you find them, you'll know it. But an FYI, you're certainly NOT a simp!

Unrequited love is a funny thing. It can be all-encompassing, but it fades eventually. And who knows, your next crush might be right around the corner.