Why You Shouldn’t Stress About Disappointing Your Parents

We go through so much pressure in our final year of high school. There’s pressure from our schools to make them look good in the school rankings, pressure from our friends to not be left behind, even pressure from ourselves to make sure we don’t entirely f*ck up our lives from one stupid set of exams. The biggest pressure for a lot of us, though, comes from our parents – the thought of disappointing them is terrifying.

It makes sense. They birthed us, sent us to school, drove us to Saturday sport and even if they didn’t do all of those things, they at least gave us some sort of device for us to read this article on. Some of our parents never went to uni, instead labouring hard with cracked hands with hopes that we wouldn’t have to. Some of our parents gave up lives in different countries so we could go to Australia’s world-class schools and universities. Others had lots to begin with but gave it all to us anyway so we would succeed in all the ways they could imagine.

That’s why it feels like we’re taking a giant shit on the dining room table when we don’t want or can’t achieve the life they laid out for us. What could be worse than throwing all their sacrifices back in their face and disappointing them?

That’s not to say that we’re always the ones being unreasonable. Our parents can have huge expectations for us, an immense goal with no consideration of the hours of soul-crushing work necessary to get there. They can have different values to us, too, and that’s not always a bad thing. There’s a generational shift in the things we hold important that’s evident across all aspects of life. We don’t all want kids. We want our work to matter. We care about the environment.

What’s important to remember is that pursuing the things we believe to be right for us – what makes us happy – isn’t always going to disappoint our parents. And if it does- so what?

Sometimes the pressure to live up to your parents expectations becomes too much. It’s another thing to deal with when you’re already freaking the f*ck out about everything else.

At the end of the day, our happiness is what they really parents want for us, right? The university education, the job, the big house and fancy car – these are just the things that they sought out for their own happiness when they were growing up. When they say they want you to be a doctor or a lawyer, to make lots of money or do a degree you hate what they’re really saying is ‘I want you to be happy and successful, and here’s how I think you can make it happen’.

As much as we love our parents, sometimes they just don’t get it right and we can’t waste our teenage years stressing about disappointing them. We need to find our own passions and our own dreams- the things that will make us want to get up in the morning and be excited to start the day. As cliché as it is, no one can decide that for us, so it’s time we stopped worrying about disappointing our parents and started focusing on making the most of our lives.