07 Jun 2021

I obsess over guys. Hard. Let it be known that I'm not on a one-way track to getting a restraining order, thank you very much.

What I mean is, I fall in love five times a day. I fall in love with the guy I meet eyes with on the bus, the guy that serves me coffee, the guy that goes to my gym, the guy that runs past with a Led Zeppelin shirt and the guy that opens the door for me. 

I know, I know, that's not 'love'. I'm being dramatic, hence why I obsess so hard! The truth of the matter is, when I genuinely fall for someone, I fall hard and fast. 

 

See, I'm a dreamer. I paint a picture of a guy before really knowing them. I screenwrite scenarios that never really come to life. My head is in the clouds, picturing a life together with someone that has no idea. 

But I've learned how to calm obsessions down. Here is what to do when you're a lil' obsessed with someone ya cheeky buggers. 😉

1. Have a laugh

For the most part, love, like life, is supposed to be fun. So laugh! Laugh with your mates over how whipped you are, or how awkward you are around your crush. This also allows you to loosen the reigns a little bit and just relax. Everyone gets a little consumed by someone special every now and then. It's human nature but it's also kinda ridiculous... So laugh about that too!

All I'm saying is, don't get so caught up in the angst of it all. Just have some fun with it.

2. Distract yourself

Start a bangin' TV series (Trust me when I say, Game of Thrones made me forget about the guy I was into at work).

Start a new hobby. (Whenever I was fantasising over a guy from uni that already had a girlfriend for goodness sake, I'd shift my energy over to learning how to surf. I'm now obsessed with surfing. Funny how the world works).

Get out there in the world with your mates! Go to gigs, trivia nights, and art galleries. Watch stand-up comedy and plays. Join a sports team or do a painting class. Are you catching my drift? Let the world distract you and let your mates distract you.

3. Kick them off that pedestal you've put them on

A lot of the time, we're obsessed over the idea of someone, rather than the actual someone. We place them on a pedestal and worship them from afar.

Call yourself out when you do this! News flash, they're human just like everybody else (unless they're Edward Cullen or something... now THAT guy deserves a restraining order though). They have weird quirks, flaws, and differing opinions to you, just like every other human. Sure, you might be still into them after you humanize them, but at least you're not treating them like they're a god.

This also helps you act more comfortably and confidently around them. Say it with me! They're just human.

4. Stay off social media

Stop. Stop scrolling through their Instagram photos. You've already seen that pic from 2017 one hundred times. Sooner or later you're gonna accidentally double click it and then you'll have to throw your phone into the ocean and move to Yemen to live with the goats.

Go distract yourself. Endlessly strolling (borderline stalking) is getting you nowhere.

5. Come back down to reality

When you're whipped on someone, you can spend a lot of time in the past, reliving past interactions with them. (Like that time they laughed at you 'endearingly' falling over and instead of getting embarrassed, you wore this as a badge of honour... they laughed at you!!! You must be funny!!!). You can spend a lot of time in the future too, making up scenarios of running into them at a gig when you look particularly unreal, so unreal that they ask you out on the spot.

If you've had this crush for a while, it's time to stop dreaming and do something about it. Go hang out with them, suss out the situation, heck, ask them out! Life is short my dudes. If they're just not that into you, are in a relationship, are off-limits or Ewan Mcgregor, who I just don't think I have a chance with, be real and tell yourself that it just isn't gonna happen.

I know this is harsh, I do. But giving yourself a bit of closure will allow you to let go and move on! Who knows, with new eyes and a new perspective, you might just meet someone else much more perfect for you or you'll work on becoming your best self. Remember ladies and gents', you don't need anyone else to be happy! Make your own happiness!

Don't be hard on yourself! Give it time. All things pass. All crushes pass. All obsessions pass.