When I started uni, I was already unsure about where I was heading. I was moving to a big city, I was moving out of home for the first time and I was starting a degree I wasn’t quite sure about. Everything that I was about to do made sense on paper but everything felt overwhelming and I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't making the 'right' decision.
I was at uni for a month. Dragging myself to classes, falling asleep in lectures and being completely numbed by the way my life was going. I thought it was the wrong decision for me from the get-go, so I dropped out.
When I first dropped out, I felt free. I had made a decision on my own terms, by myself and it felt adult. But once it had sunk in that my year didn’t have a plan, I felt isolated and regretted my decision.
All of my friends had started uni or had their gap years pre-planned, so I was left feeling as if I had no path, no direction and at some points, no future. Having the comfort of school and my peers around me was something I took for granted and when it was taken away, I felt like I was going to be stagnant for the rest of my life.
I had to no one to hang out with. I wasn’t getting enough work. My hometown began to bore me again and I was constantly anxious that my life was on stand-by and I was just waiting for something, anything, to kickstart me.
I decided to head back to uni, this time studying a degree I was actually interested in (instead of something that everyone was telling me to do).
The point I'm trying to make is that sometimes you're going to regret the decisions you make. Sometimes you're going to go down the wrong path and realise that a different route would have worked out better for you. Sometimes you're going to feel like you've made a mess of your entire life.
But the thing is, messing up a decision, making a mistake or picking the wrong path isn't the end of the world. I dropped out of uni and then jumped back into it. I picked the wrong course then found a way to get into the right one. I messed up and felt shitty about it but then found a way to give another path a go.
We're constantly told that we need to make the 'right' decision or that there's only one 'correct' path to go down. And if we don't nail the decision first go? Then we're automatically labelled as fuck-ups.
The thing is, we're going to make mistakes. We're stressed, we're tired and we're young. We don't know everything there is to know and sometimes that means making a shitty decision.
But that decision doesn't define the rest of our lives and we have so many years and opportunities ahead of us to mess things up, change our minds and find a different path. Take advantage of it. Drop out of uni if you want, swap degrees, take time off and then change your mind and go back to the original plan. Try something and then fail at it. Go give something else a red hot crack. Don't listen to anyone that says you're a failure–find a way to prove to them that you're a success, even if it takes a couple of tries.