02 Sep 2021 | 3

Learning about the birds and the bees is one of the most awkwardly taught topics you’ll encounter in high school. You betcha, I'm talking about sex–a taboo subject that is a huge part of many people’s lives and in fact none of us would be here without it.

So, we should be comfortable with it, right?

Well, high school kinda fails us when it comes to an open conversation about the whole thing. So, when it comes to do the deed, you don’t really know what you’re doing, you’re nervous as hell and you’re desperate to know what on earth this is and what that is.

 

Unfortunately, a brief run-down on relationships, safe sex and the amusement of placing a condom on a banana doesn’t cut it anymore.

There is a lot of unsaid things when it comes to sex education.

1. Age of consent and the law

We do learn about this in high school, but it truly bears repeating.

The age of consent is 16-years-old in all states except South Australia and Tasmania, where it’s 17-years-old.

If both individuals are underage and engage in some ‘sexual exploration’ it’s considered okay under the law.

Although, it becomes a problem when one person is over the age of consent and the other is under the age of consent.

If someone is drunk and/or high, they can’t legally give consent even if they’re saying yes. Having sex with someone when they’re off their face is considered rape in many cases.

2. Masturbation is not embarrassing

I’ve watched a lot of Netflix series that mention masturbation but only in regard to men and their penises. It wasn’t until Sex Education on Netflix that actually promoted female masturbation in a positive light so cheers to that.

Look, masturbation isn’t weird, and you shouldn’t be ashamed by experimenting your body and what works for you. Also, it’s proven that masturbating can release some feel-good neurochemicals that lift your spirits and boost your satisfaction, it's pretty much the perfect stress reliever.

Guys and girls, you're not the first one to do it and you're definitley not going to be the last, so go wild and figure things out for yourself.

3. Porn can teach you some positions but that’s about it

We're not here to shame you for watching porn. But it’s really important to know that porn is performative so don't look to it as a guide on how sex works. Assuming that porn is the reality is going to lead to unrealistic expectations and in real life there's a tonne more hair, sweat and awkward moments that porn would like to let on. Don't expect sex to be perfect, be prepared to laugh and cringe but don't forget to enjoy it–just because it's not like a porn scene doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Get comfortable with the reality of sex rather than what's shown in the movies.
 

4. Testing is important and free

You can never be too safe. Make sure you get yourself tested–ideally, every three months or every time you hook up with someone new.

If you go to a regular GP you can get everything bulk billed but private clinics are good too if you'd rather go somewhere that specialises and don't mind coughing up a bit of cash.

There's nothing to be ashamed about with getting tested and the person you're hooking up with should be open to chatting to it about you. Catching a STI isn't the end of the world but it's definitely something you should be looking to protect yourself against and if anyone makes you feel emabarassed or ashamed about looking out for your own health, they're honestly not worth your time.

5. Sex isn’t just penetration

Having sex for the first time (or any time, for that matter) doesn’t need to involve actual penis penetration (I promise that’s the last time I’ll use that word). LGBTQI+ couples may never experience sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite sex, ever, but this doesn’t mean they can’t have an active sex life or ‘lose’ their virginity.

Don't get hung up on this idea of 'virginity' and just do what works for you.

6. Sexuality is fluid

Homosexuality and bisexuality are almost never covered when it comes to sex education.

I remember sitting in Health class in high school and sexuality was completely skipped over; it’s a shame because I was confused as ever when it came to my sexuality and I know there are tonnes of other kids out there that are trying to figure things out. 

I was lucky enough to have friends around that understood and helped me talk openly about my sexuality but even if you don't have this, just remember that sexuality is a spectrum and just because your school isn't talking about it, doesn't mean you're not valid.

Hooking up with people is meant to be fun and there's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself (we're young and this is what our teenage years are for). So it's time we got past the awkward conversations and conservative opinions and just started talking about the reality–even if it isn't as 'perfect' as they make out in the movies.