14 Jun 2021

I don't wanna sound narcissistic and up my own a$$ too much... in fact, I'll start this with a few things that I'm awful at (and trust me, there's a lot).

I'm a terrible cook (I just nuked a whole sweet potato trying to make soup), I can't run to save my life, I'm as clumsy as a fish on land, I forget my keys at least twice a week and I'm always, always late.

But one thing I've mastered is the art of confidence. Seriously, I am the most confident person I know. 

If you're thinking for one second that there's no way you can become more confident, then that's your number one problem. Because you can. You seriously can. See, when I was a kid, I was so scared of the world that I would hide behind my parents or literally sob when someone tried to talk to me. My mum signed me up to dancing and violin lessons and before I knew it, I was performing in concerts, my confidence skyrocketing.

Now, picking up dancing or the violin might not be the answer for you (lmao but maybe it's worth a try? could be a vibe), but my point is, anyone can become more confident. Even you. Yeah, I'm looking at you! 

Loosen up

People take life so seriously. They worry about what they'll say or what they said. They're scared to instigate a conversation with someone new. They're petrified that people will think they're uncool.

Shake all that off. Now. Seriously, shake like a wet dog. 

Here's an example. My friend and I were once out and about and couldn't get into the gig we wanted (it'd reached capacity *sigh*). I then messaged a mutual friend of ours who looked like he was having a fun gatho nearby. I'd met him twice but we'd had some gr8 chats. He was keen for us to come over but my friend wasn't. She hated the idea of going to a party where she didn't know anyone. Who would she talk to? What would she say? Wouldn't we seem weird?

"Loosen up!!" I told her. What did we have to lose? Who cares what people think!?! If I did, I'd be wanting to go into hibernation right about now. I dance like a loon, I say stupid things, I fall over in front of people 24/7. I mean, once I ran through a barbed wire fence in front of hundreds of new people and needed stitches for gods sake! I could have wanted to hide in shame and embarrassment but instead, I laughed and embraced how much of a kook I am. Point is, I don't take life too seriously. 

I convinced my friend that the gatho could be fun and an opportunity to meet more funky people! She ended up having the best night and also meeting her boyfriend there. See what you can score when you loosen up and open up your mind?!

Back yourself

You know how I started this article with things I'm not good at? That's fine because I don't really care about those things. But so many people have self-talk 100x worse than that running through their heads 24/7. You might be one of them.

What you believe, you attract. Take it from Einstein who once said, "Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is physics."

What story are you telling yourself? Maybe you don't think you're smart enough, funny enough, successful enough, attractive enough, popular enough... Those thoughts you have every day just dig you further and further into the ground. 

I back myself. I'm stuck with myself for the rest of my life so I might as well try to like myself. I tell myself that I'm confident. That I'm a dead set legend. I'm always appreciative of what I have and aspire to become better.

Don't like the story you're telling? Finish that book and start a new one. One where you are a confident son of a gun who backs themself.

Send it

Fake it 'til you make it baby. Be that confident person you've always wanted to be.

What does main character energy look like to you? Maybe it's cranking ACDC before walking into a party, or starting genuine convos with the barista serving you. Maybe it's carelessly dancing like a loon whilst clubbing or sliding into your crushes DM's.

Whatever it looks like to you, align with it. Be that person. You can be that person. You are that person. Get out of that comfort zone, live in the present and go live a little!