How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back

Ah. Ye age old question. How do I get my crush to like me back?

Unfortunately, there's no easy fix. No love potion, no voodoo doll and no hypnotising trick. If there was, I'd be with Harry Styles rn. 

What I can give you is some leverage. A bit of spice to higher the chances of them falling for you back. So let's get into it!

1. Treat them like a new acquaintance

This'll help you relax a bit and hold your horses from fawning over them too much. I mean, you wouldn't bombard a new acquaintance with messages, dog your mates' surprise party to hang out with them, or just talk to them at that party. Present yourself how you are - a person who has their own life, plans, mates...etc, rather than falling at their feet. 

There's an Andy Warhol quote: “The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting”. People love the chase so don't hand yourself on a silver platter. Reply to their message when you're finished work. Tell them, unfortunately, you have plans. Talk to other people at that party as well.

2. Compliment them on something deeper

Show ya care by gassing them up a bit. You know what will stick though? Complimenting them on something niche, something other people maybe wouldn't mention so often.

Complimenting looks is a bit blase, I mean, they were born with them - they didn't chisel themselves out of clay. Compliment them on their guitar playing - better yet, the self-discipline they must have to practice it every day. Or how good their eye contact is. Or how adventurous they are... they'll remember these compliments. They'll be chuffed that you noticed something a little deeper than maybe their cool T-Shirt or their haircut. 

3. Work on your eye contact

The eyes are the window to the soul. Looking into someone’s eyes will make you significantly more into them than looking at someone whose gaze is averted. If you want to draw them in, don’t look at the floor, look at them. Eye contact also captures and holds their attention - longer convo = more time with them. Result! 

Fun fact, we generally judge people who make eye contact with us to be smarter and more competent. Who doesn't wanna seem smarter?  Bonus points for smiling as well! You'll seem more sincere, relaxed and... well, happier.

4. Ask them q's

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. This'll keep them talking and keep them interested in the convo. I mean, everyone loves talking about themselves. Why? Because it's a topic we're pretty knowledgeable on.

You'll also be able to suss out what they're passionate about - digging a bit deeper into who they are. If you ask q's about things that are important to them, they'll feel closer to you. 

5. Talk to your mates about them

Prepare yourself for your mates to tease ya. "____ and ____ sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G"... 

But banter asite, telling your mates about a crush gives you perspective. When you’re crushing on someone, it’s hard to see things objectively. Your mates might be the first to say "ughhh, you guys don't have a lot in common" or "mate, they're so into you!"... 

Getting an outsider's perspective will help you see the full picture. 

6. Get your mates to gas you up to them

See, humans are sheep. A restaurant could be empty for hours but as soon as one person goes in, everyone goes in.

What I mean by that is, people will be more attracted to you if they think other people are attracted to you. It's as simple as that. So get your mates to talk highly of you to your crush subtly...

Or try to do a stint like this:

7. Be yourself *cringe I know*

You know what's cringier than that quote? Pretending to be someone you're not. Eek.

Don't pretend to be into the same music that they are. Don't pretend to be a massive climber or surfer or snowboarder. Instead, learn about why they love doing that. Maybe you could get into it too for fun, or appreciate it from afar.

Don't dress differently for them, don't try to be funnier or smarter or meeker... Talk to them like you would with a mate (plus some flirting) - being your unconditional self, no matter how much of a kook you are.

8. Their feelings don’t reflect who you are

There's a parable about a man who journeyed all over the globe to find the woman of his dreams - when he finally found her and explained this to her, she responded with, “but you’re not the man of mine”. 

Unrequited love blows. But at the end of the day, their feelings don’t reflect who you are. You're a lord with or without them. See, not everyone is going to crush on you back, but the right person will. Trust the process.