11 Feb 2020

Valentine's day. A hellscape abundant in red roses, romantic displays and a chubby baby unsolicitedly shooting gold arrows everywhere. Um... can you not..?

Before I delve into why I despise this hallmark holiday, let's start with a quick history lesson on the surprisingly gory origins of this "day of love".

In mid-February, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men would sacrifice a goat and a dog and the women would stand in line, drunk and naked, and be whipped by the dead hides of the animals in the hope that they would become fertile. Then, men and women would pair off for the festival, perhaps longer if the match was right... This celebration inspired the yearly tradition of Valentine's Day.

The day was named after a famous saint, but there are several stories of who he was. My favourite story is that St Valentine was a priest from Rome in the third century AD. Emperor Claudius II made marriage illegal because he believed that married men were awful soldiers. Valentine found this unjust, so he arranged marriages in secret. When Claudius found out, Valentine was thrown in jail and sentenced to death. He fell in love with the jailer's daughter and when he was taken to be killed on the 14th of February, he sent her a love letter signed "from your Valentine".

So Valentine's Day was birthed from dead animal sacrifices, women being whipped and an execution. Awesome. 

Eventually, the tradition made its way to the New World. Some say that William Shakespeare popularised the celebration, making it romantic. The industrial revolution consequently churned out factory-made cards in the 19th century, beginning a billion-dollar industry, commercializing and monetizing love.

Valentine's Day isn't really about love. It's about presents and plastic displays of love flaunted online for everyone to see. For those in relationships, they feel pressured to have a perfect day and spend all their money on some stupid card and teddy bear.

For the single pringles, it's a kick in the nuts for their existential dread. Being surrounded by couples sharing heart-shaped boxes, feeling left out, disappointed and more alone than ever. 

Valentine's Day doesn't celebrate love. If it did, it'd be a day to spend with not only your partner but your friends, family and your dang dog. It'd be a laid back day encouraging people to have a cheeky bbq, picnic or a laugh over the phone.

Don't get me wrong, I like anniversaries. That's a momentous day that deserves to be celebrated if desired. But Valentine's day just capitalizes on love for money. That doesn't fly with me. And that's a lot coming from me since I love traditions and I'm a romantic!

Commercializing and monetizing love has stripped this day of all the magic that Shakespeare may have wanted. I'm not saying we should go back to whipping women with dead animal parts, but I what am saying is: get rid of the roses and the chocolates, get rid of the pressure to buy gifts for someone, get rid of having to share it online, and just spend this day like any other. Because jeez, shouldn't you strive to make every day special with the people you love?