12 May 2014

To me, ten years ago,

Right now you are 12, you’re pretty awesome even if you don’t know it yet.

You like basically every sport, and as you are about to start high school you still have no idea how to talk to girls or dress well (you should work on that). You are good and kind, for you school is more about forging relationships than learning. That will change but you should never forget that.

You like your teachers, like your classes but ultimately you know there is more to life.

You are tough; 12 years has taught you a lot. From moving schools, to rejections and successes you are laying the foundation for a great moral compass, don’t ever change that.

You were raised to know and believe that actions have consequences and that there is a tangible difference between right and wrong, so you hold those many, many secrets (some big, some small) you keep tight to your chest – and near to them, you hide your failures and mistakes, terrified that if you let them slip, you might be defined by them.

As the older, wiser, more worldly version of you, I wanted to tell you to keep making those mistakes. You won’t regret having some fun and even if you might be worried about mum and dad getting pissed off at you, they still love you.

You are going to make mistakes. You are going fail miserably when trying to chat up women. You are going to regret some of the relationships you form.

You’re going to feel pressured to make choices that you are too young to make. Take a step back and breathe.

You are going to drink too much. You are going to fail. And you are going to succeed.

You are 12. You don’t have the answers to everything. Hell, you don’t have the answers to anything. Ten years down the line and I’m only just figuring it out now.

You won’t always get it right. In fact, you will basically never get it right. Trust me, accepting that now will make life a hell of a lot easier on you.

When you’re 20, you’re going to drop out of university and feel like a failure. You are only a failure if you let yourself be one.

It’s going to take you years to learn, but when you finally do, you’ll be so proud of yourself: There is no one on this earth — no man, no woman, no employer, no person who has any right to determine how you should and shouldn’t feel about your body, your mind and your importance.

You are a pretty good bloke. But at moments, you’ll be weak. You’ll accept less than you deserve (a reality that makes me cringe again and again) and you’ll be okay with it (again, I am cringing).

You’re going to fall in love with a few people who don’t reciprocate. It sucks at the time, but you’ll realise later the difference between love and lust.

I know you. You hide what hurts you very well. But please remember that just because you’re doing it now doesn’t mean you’ll do this forever.

You won’t always accept less than what you deserve. The mistake you’ll make is believing that someone else has the ability to dictate your worth. The lesson you’ll learn in the long run is that they don’t.

In a moment of panic you saw coming a mile away, you’ll realize that everything you thought you wanted to do was wrong.

This is going to happen about a dozen times, you’ll be fine.

Your dreams changed – and it terrifies you.

You’ll think you failed and that you’re wrong, that you’ve come this far and all of a sudden you don’t even know what you’re working toward anymore. You’ll think that you did wrong, that you were foolish to choose this path.

But know this, no one has everything figured out.

I know that at 12 the course of the rest of your life is overwhelming and confusing. I know that you think that every decision you make today, you won’t be able to undo tomorrow.

I know you think that the stakes are too high, that so much as a sigh in the wrong direction will send you crumbling to your knees.

I also know something that you don’t. You will undo practically every decision you make today and tomorrow, the stakes will always be high, but that’s no reason to tiptoe around them and that you will sigh, huff and puff in the wrong direction and yes, it will bring you to your knees.

Just enjoy the ride.

Written by Max