05 Jan 2020

The scorching sun, ridiculously (and painfully) hot concrete, bathing in your own sweat and an endless amount of one-dollar frozen cokes from Maccas. Sounds like summer.

Trying to escape the heat and cool off is the number one priority when it comes to summer. And while air-con certainly gets the job done, it eats up a huge amount of energy and that’s not cool. Pun intended.

So to beat the heat, everyone rushes to the glorious beaches Australia has to offer. Lovin’ the beach is universal- you’re crazy to hate it apparently. The sand in between your toes, a gazebo propped up with a chilled esky underneath, spicy tunes blaring, and a sea of towels spread across the beach ready for you to plop down and start working on getting a serious tan.

 

Well, the next four words I say will make me sound completely loco.

I hate the beach.

Yup. Can’t stand it. Simply not a fan. Hear me out.

First of all, it’s freakin’ hot as. You’re basically jumping in the water, cooling down, then sitting around only to get hot and bothered again. I can only last 30 minutes tops without getting bored.

Sand is everywhere and anywhere. Not to mention how many days it takes to get rid of all the sand you brought home with you on your body and swimmers. It’s irritating af and I’m just not interested.

Also, it doesn’t take long for you to be burnt to a crisp. Being sunburnt is truly one of the most excruciating pains one could be in. It’s a nightmare to get to sleep, everything stings, you look like an absolute tomato and everyone will make sure to remind you of it too. And if you’re not blessed with the ability to tan, you peel bad. Real bad.

Worst part is that they’re always god damn busy. Every man and his dog flock to the beach and you end up being packed like sardines. Not ideal.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a complete neg when it comes to cooling down. I just prefer other ways to escape the heat than being ravaged by sand.

I’m talking about packing a mean feed with plenty of fruit, esky packed with drinks, cruising through suburbs with open windows letting the fresh air in and roaming around until you stumble across some picturesque beauties like waterholes, waterfalls or lakes.

Whether it’s swimming in waterholes or climbing under waterfalls, nothing beats finding a hidden gem deep in the bush or in a place you didn't expect. And most of the time, they’re insta-worthy - so you’ll receive bragging rights. Well, that’s if you’re a generous person and like to share hot new spots.

Whatever happened to a good ole’ fashion pool shindig? Easily a fan fav simply because of the inflatable chairs you plop in the still water to relax on. Connect to a UE Boom, blast some classics and get to livin’ it up in either yours or a mate's backyard.

I’m a beach hater, so what! Love me or hate me. I’m busy coolin’ down in the most relaxin' way I know how.