25 May 2021

Every morning, Monday to Friday, I would wake up with just enough time to haphazardly chuck on my school uniform, pack my bag, inhale cereal, brush my teeth and sprint out of the door. I'd always think to myself, soon, I'll never have to do this again. I counted down the days to graduation as if my life depended on it. 

Hate is a pretty strong word... And that's why I use it when talking about high school. 

I hated sitting in mind-numbing classes when the sun was shining outside. I hated being told that I couldn't go to the bathroom or I couldn't eat a cheesecake in class (okay, that last one is fair enough hahaha sue me though! I love cheesecake). I hated trying to memorise notes, study for exams and learning things I just didn't care at all about. I hated the petty drama, the rumour mill and the cliquey-ness... I could go on, but I think you get the jist.

When graduation finally came, my friends all shed tears, getting pictures with their favourite teachers and walking through the hallways and classrooms for the last time, feeling bittersweet. I ran out of those school gates like a bat out of hell, cranking School's Out by Alice Cooper absolutely STOKED!

"No more pencils. No more books. No more teacher's dirty looks". Trust me, I really did cop my fair share of teacher's dirty looks. But they were no more! I was free!

I finished high school three years ago and it's only now that I... well... This is kind of a secret. As you can tell, I was pretty staunch about despising high school with every fibre of my being...but...

It's only now that I've realised that I secretly miss high school. I never thought I would.

I miss the little things I completely took for granted. Like lining up in the canteen and razzing all the Year Seveners for having the audacity to push in. Like having to be in a group with my crush and thanking the gods for my luck. Like laughing my head off whilst mucking around with bunsen burners in science or playing truth or dare in English. (I was once dared to come into class with toilet paper stuck to my skirt and nobody but my mates believe that it was actually a dare...)

I'm out here in the big world, fending for myself - Thinking about groceries, bills, rent, work and uni... Wondering whether I should risk hanging up the washing on an overcast day with the potential of rain. Rocking up late to parties because I was scrubbing the bathroom...

I do love life after high school and trust me, it really did get better after graduation. But I can't help lusting for a simpler time where I would just chuck my uniform on, rock up to school and see my mates every day. Laugh at lunchtime, not worrying about how I'm gonna afford rent or if I left the oven on. Learn a thing or two... because, whilst I didn't vibe with Science or Maths, French, Music, and Drama were fuuuunnn.

If I could get my own '17 Again' moment, I'd just appreciate the Maccas runs during free periods, the hilarious detention stories, the times my friend and I would be separated in class because we were distracting the rest of the class. I'd take in all the firsts - first drive, first kiss, first relationship, first party...

Then I'd yeet out as soon as I had to do the beep test again. Absolutely bloody not.