07 Sep 2020

Sure, there are a lot of things I'll miss about high school. Seeing my friends, learning a thing or two, the canteen food, the banter... But I also cannot wait to blast  'School's Out' by Alice Cooper and strut out my school gates when I graduate. No more pens, no more books and no more teacher's dirty looks when I wear the wrong socks *eye roll*. 

Here are a few things I won't miss about high school.

1. The beep test

I will hear that beep in my nightmares. Quite frankly, the beep test is sadistic and I don't think my lungs will ever be the same. 

Not to mention, my high school doesn't have showers. After the beep test, you just walk around sweaty and red for the rest of the day. Love that.

2. Getting roasted for asking to go to the bathroom

Shall I just wet myself? Because genuinely, I have an extremely fragile bladder and I will not get stage fright. Have fun cleaning my urine out of the carpet. 

Nah but for real, I won't miss asking "can I go to the toilet?" acommpanied by a sassy response of "I don't know, can you?"

Let me go in peace, god damn it.

3. People pushing in the canteen line

I will not miss the canteen line that is always chocker blocked. And who do those fresh year 7's think they are? Pushing in like I won't notice!? I don't think so, sweety! I want my choccy milk pronto.

4. Following the ridiculous dress code

I got detention for wearing socks that were slightly pink. Look, they used to be white but were dyed pink in the wash by accident.

But isn't it more important that I actually show up for school and apply myself? I mean, I'm happy to ditch class and go buy some new white socks if that's your prerogative.

5. Tests, exams, essays... ew!

During tests, I always wished that I was telepathic so that I can just read the minds of the smartest people in the year. Unfortunately, I never miraculously become telepathic.

Rather, I'm stuck with my brain that does not do well under pressure.

6. Spending a whole day at school to come home and do more schoolwork

Since five long days a week apparently isn't enough, we're given MORE school work to do when we're free at home.

Sometimes I just wanna lounge out watching Netflix all arvo with a cheeky nap. Is that too much to ask?

7. Early mornings

I lust for days that I can sleep in. But every day, my shrill alarm wakes me up from my comfortable bed, basically screaming: "no sleep in for you, it's time for school!"

It's a real neg out.

8. Everything being blocked on the wifi

Sometimes I just want to play Club Penguin in my free periods. How is that blocked?!

Like c'mon, I think Club Penguin is a fantastic resource for education (hello, you can make pizzas for god sake) and it's ridiculous that it's not accessible.

9. Ratchet school bathrooms

Our school bathrooms are dark, dingy and dirty.

Sometimes I sneak into the staff bathroom just to treat myself.

10. No parking, whatsoever

You think you'll never be late to school again because you don't have to rely on the bus when you get your P's but this slowly becomes untrue.

Finding a park at my school is as hard as solving the Da Vinci Code and I still end up late to class.

11. No food or drink in class

So first you won't let me go to the bathroom and now you're letting me starve?!?!? 

I love to snack. Sue me!

12. The clique-ness of it all

High school is abundant in gossip, drama and an obsession with popularity, especially since you're seeing these people five times a week.

The clique-ness of high school is honestly not a vibe and I can't wait to escape its petty grip.

13. Detention

I have been known to be quite the chatterbox in class and have repetitively scored myself detention.

I must say, I won't miss writing "I will not talk in class" 300 times. 

14. Pressure and stress

High school is a stress fest. You're navigating your teenage years, figuring out what you want to do for the rest of your life whilst studying for a frazzling load of assessments, tests and exams.

Luckily for you, exams are normally all at the same time as well! I'm being sarcastic, btw. That's an absolute nightmare.

15. Being called on in class when you have no idea/weren't listening

No more will I feel like an imbecile when a teacher asks a question that they might as well have asked in another language since I'll have no idea either way.

No more embarrassment for feeling stupid! Hooray!